Loving all the updates and really hoping for a nothing burger so my flight monday night can get me home. 🤞🏻🤞🏻

I see that Edward Said cover and I’m activated like a sleeper agent back to graduate school.

This is why I politely excused myself in my parents house and watched it alone in the dark upstairs on Christmas.

Imagine me on my exercise bike, phone playing the episode for that exact reason just put my head on the handle bars and let out a GOD DAMMIT

I went to go rewatch the first episode and I had to take a breath I couldn’t even watch it alone

This was me my entire visit with my parents

Hell even my hair looked great today!

Today was such a good day. There was a hot guy suddenly in a meeting at work I was professionally obligated to make eye contact with for an hour. My hockey show flooded me with happy chemicals. My friend is making me laugh hysterically in a good chat. Good fucking day.

See this is why people are having psychotic breaks when their refrigerators start talking to them

Oh no! I hope you recover soon.

Dick Cheney was absolutely the gremlin that haunted my undergraduate years however, having your cardiologist open up your funeral after having multiple heart attacks while in office is ungodly funny.

I really want to understand why the internet is calling London some kind of crime slum. London? My london? Please.

Not gonna lie, I heard my first Christmas song of the season and it was a vibe.

I am trying to finish this book but I am sobbing through the last 50 pages and I am certain that without a tranquilizer I will not make it through this film.

Who marks the waxing tide grow wave by wave

a crowd of dodgers fans holding a blue flag ALT: a crowd of dodgers fans holding a blue flag

FOR THE HOMELANDS!!!!!!

I desperately need someone to tell me exactly what the Paddington musical was like in person because I don’t think the videos I’ve seen are conveying accurately what that was like. Was it giving Ewok?

This is just to say

I have eaten
the swans
that were in
the duck pond

and which
you were probably
saving
for the King

Forgive me
they were delicious
so white
and so necky

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

Why, Hal, ’tis my vocation, Hal, ’tis no sin for a man to labor in his vocation.

My god this thread is funny.

Jean jacket weather is when I finally get to embody my true form.

I’m sure time will tell on the greatest contributions of this current younger generation, but in my opinion reclassifying Diet Coke as “a fridge cigarette” is fucking brilliant.

I am 42 now. I have to do my stupid little walks. So I did a stupid little walk. 😤 and I’m gonna do it again tomorrow.

Washingtonian: The 12 Best Subs to Throw at Federal Agents

Eater DC: Jose Andres Offers Lunch Special on Federalist Pig Sandos

The 51st: Your Rights After You've Sandwiched a Fed, Explained

WCP: Darrow's Page 4 Sandwich Shots

Axios: EXCLUSIVE: Fed Saddened by Sandwich

Letterboxd Friday Looking appropriately unhinged for Hot Nerd Summer

Tickets to Ren Faire acquired. Many thanks to @dogunderwater.bsky.social and @malloryyu.bsky.social for being my canaries in the coal mine. A friend with better odds saved the day.

I am number 40,255 in line. I don’t have high hopes but I’m also willing to drive to Pennsylvania

Fucking assholes