Gilda Radner as Emily Litella

What’s all this fuss I keep hearing about the straight of whore moose??

I Took RFK Jr.’s Advice and Ate Nothing but High-Protein Foods for a Week From forcing down chewy, bacon-flavored Man Cereal to vomiting at the office, buying into the MAHA protein craze was a challenging endeavor.

According to new dietary guidance from the Department of Health and Human Services under RFK Jr., I need 138 grams of protein a day. So I slammed all the trendy new protein products for a week, from protein Pop-Tarts to protein water to protein slop bowls from Chipotle and Jack in the Box.

Pouring one out for all the librarians and archivists who are now confronting angry patrons demanding to see an item that doesn't exist because "AI told me it does."*

*story just recounted to me by a friend

Who wants to invest in my new startup, CatGPT.

No AI. Just cats.

Fun fact: Women's sports are segregated not to protect women, but to protect *men* from losing *to* a woman.

Don't believe me? Look up Jackie Mitchell. Struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. Then suddenly women were unfit to play baseball.

Doctor to patient: "Try to reduce your stress level, and if you somehow succeed please let me know how in God's name you did it."

I thought this felt relatable

Had to fill up the loaner car before returning it and dear God it was expensive.

Betrayal! Wiki about autistic man’s special interest written by people who are not sufficiently autistic An autistic man has been left horrified after looking online for information about his special interest, only to find that the wiki’s editors are clearly nowhere near autistic enough to satisfy his…

An autistic man has been left horrified after looking online for information about his special interest, only to find that the wiki’s editors are clearly nowhere near autistic enough to satisfy his need for detail, eyewitnesses have reported.

There's an actual ham steak under there too. My protein goals are met for the rest of the week lol.

A plate of eggs benedict and hash browns. There are three poached eggs instead of the usual two.

The rare three eggs benedict.

Celebrating Earth Day 2026 and amplifying the message. Admittedly, it is concerning as well as baffling that humanity has made so little progress to protect our planet. Our only viable home. It’s been 56 years.

The message of the original poster— still true.
#EarthDay2026
www.earthday.org/history/

I guess they threw the old street names right out the window huh

I feel like Sun Tzu really missed out on "Invent Pete Hegseth and give him to the enemy"

Sledgehammer was released 40 years ago today!

This Is Just To Say

I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update

and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize

Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying

fucked up that polymarket is a dystopian tech company rather than a place you go to buy fresh produce from the local farmer and her three boyfriends

"You there, my good stoner! What day is it today?"

"Why, it's 4/20, Mr. Scrooge!"

"Then, there is still time to blaze it! Do you know the massive joint in the window shop of Dr. Weedfellows? I want you to buy it and send it to Bob Cratchit, so he may toke with his whole family for the holiday!!"

Remember folks 4/20 was made up by Hallmark to get people to buy more marijuana cards

Driving a gas powered loaner after two and a half years of driving an EV is weird. It’s noisy and the acceleration is nowhere near as smooth. At least it’s basically the the same body (Tiguan vs ID4) so I know where the corners are.

Weed turns 420 years old today.

Let that sink in.

Also nice

What he had was a gun.

Boots on the Groundhog Day

Without stating your age, post your favorite film released the year you turned 18.

I think dressing like the Pope and going to baseball games is a totally wholesome father-son activity.

White Sox fan Pope Leo spotted in Sacramento ... twice ... sort of A papal father-son duo from Bakersfield proved a hit at Sutter Health Park as the A’s notched a win over the pope’s No. 1 baseball team.

A papal father-son duo from Bakersfield proved a hit at Sutter Health Park as the A’s notched a win over the pope’s No. 1 baseball team.

Vanity plate that says “SAPPHO” on a Subaru

it’s what makes a subaru a subaru

The head of the FBI isn't supposed to be getting blackout drunk. He's supposed to be cross-dressing

Hegseth saying “The Pharisee Press” should be a fully mask off moment. He is saying “The Jewish Press”. But Christians of all political stripes are so devoted to using Pharisees as a rhetorical prop that liberal Christians regularly insist it’s totally fine, no matter how many Jews try to explain.