Kingdom Hearts 9/11 Serial
Goofy: Sora, they have box cutters.
Donald: Who gave the Heartless Boxcutters?
Mark Wahlberg: I swear to Catholic God I will blind this Vietnamese man

NO THAT WAS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT STUPID FUCKING PLAN

Excalibur on commentary, but other than that, unsure

It is no coincidence that my return to the gym is happening during a Limp Bizkit hyperfixation

So there are Baptists, Anabaptists, and Anabananafeefifofanabaptists. This joke is for no one

The music in my head is oscillating wildly between Streetlight Manifesto and Primus. That’s a good mental state, right?

Train to Jersey: quiet, peaceful, soothing
Train from Jersey: a carnival of horrors, why does everyone have terrible veneers

I am not a violent person.

I am not a competitive person.

But I would cage match fight RFK Jr on national television for free.

They gonna kiss

The summer I plan on perfecting the art of complaining gratefully. It will be my greatest triumph

A game I like to play when I’m out and about is “Is this person staring at me because I’m a youngish person using a cane, or are they staring because they think I’m hot.”

You ever looked at your schedule for the next couple for months and are pants pissingly terrified? Yeah, me neither 🤷🏻‍♂️

They didn’t want to see Danny work like a heel, and they REALLY didn’t want to cheer Adam Cole

Come check out my economic policy Wallop Myself in the Dick and Balls Nonstop Over and Over Again. If you notice the walloping, I will triple the walloping of my dick and balls. At the end my dick and balls will feel good somehow. How does this work? I will not elaborate.

Bring me the head of Tony Khan

elected dems aren’t gonna do anything about this because it’s also in line with what almost all of them want to see happen. direct action and sustained pressure is the only way. get out there if you’re around

Nominative determinism really popped off when it came to Alan Cumming

lol ain’t we all

This is normal

Hell is not real, and Ronald Reagan is in it.

Finally, my compulsive screenshotting results in a W

Personally, as both a Jewish person and as a journalist I feel duty bound to acknowledge that Israel is clearly engaged in ethnic cleansing in Gaza. We would not be quibbling over that if a country less allied with America was engaged in the same conduct.

“You haven’t moved all day, lazybones” I say to my cat, whilst in bed starting my fifth episode of Forged in Fire

Without downloading any new pics what’s your energy going into 2025

Using the phrase "Bernie Bros" in 2024 is so embarrassing, you are that imperial Japanese fighter stuck on the island still fighting WW2 in 1960

"skibidi toilet fortnite collab" i state calmly as i place my hand on the emergency door handle. the rest of the plane's passengers solemnly nod and close their eyes, thanking me for the mercy i am bestowing upon them as i throw the door open at 30,000 feet

I fear the person I would’ve become had the majority of Sonic games in my teen years not been truly horrible

Thanks for the brain haunting!