No I did not just tap on a screenshot to get the map to move, nor did I worry that the phone wasn’t showing the charging icon when it was definitely plugged in. Why would I do that?

It’s like some Spicks and Specks game from hell: what classic number are they strangulating now?

Prince. 10 years. :(

Muzak’s not dead it just moved to Japan.

I’m sure you’re very good at it by now!

Should I go for an after dinner stroll and make it an even 50,000?

Seriously, they’ll have to consider the possibility of sabotage won’t they?

Chris Bowen says it’s not great timing. You can’t both be right.

If you’d written this you’d be accused of over-controlling the narrative.

No not great.

Is this a Slow Horses plotline, Victoria?

He is a paragon of investigative journalism.

As soon as they say there won’t be rationing, you know there’ll be rationing.

When you volunteer for the haunted house with kid at the amusement park because you want to get out of rollercoaster duty, and it turns out to be spiders.

writing sucks and I hate it

Sorry, Trump's not on the verge of death - if he was there'd be huge movements in Polymarket due to all the insider trading.

Nice excuse.

Things there should be a word for: that nagging feeling of lightness as you stride up the street after coffee, having left the Important Bag on the floor beside your seat.

(Retrieved safely!)

What would we do without Nick McKenzie?

I was literally just now talking about this. Watching an ant run frantically around a coffee shop table and speculating that it had ingested some coffee grounds….

There is a dog in the EB village apartments that howls miserably literally all day, every day. :(

Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Scott has form with that.

more useful rules for life, this time from a Japanese gallery:

Those who cannot use the facilities:
Those who are drunk

If you want me I'll just be over here, staring into space, waiting for a Senate inquiry report that I really really need for work, that is due today, to be published.

Taking bets on them delaying the whole thing by a week...

Can report that the new black shelf I just had installed in my kitchen is a perfect place to hide an iPhone: completely invisible against the surface. #wheresmyphone

bring out your zines: mailchi.mp/0ed23e1cdebf...

And a biopic of the model known as The Body in the 80’s would be an ellementary, my dear Watson.

I’ll stop now .

How about a true cinematic tale of depictions of game waterfowl over time?

I am so not going the obvious next step.

Sad to announce that my retirement plan - to live in a beachside apt complex and walk my blond poodle cross called Elton on the bayside promenade every day at dawn - have been cancelled due to the role already being taken.