🥵

How did I miss this handsome face during Pride? 😍

My favorite pass time is sitting on the couch at the clurb and watching people to figure out what drugs they be on.

when the edible hits

Anal fissures and hemorrhoids are just the little tribulations you have to learn to overcum.

Jerking it to the oldies.

I love when a rich man has a “leave me his inheritance before dying” kink.

poor person says delusional things: conspiracy theorist

rich person says delusional things: omt you should start a podcast

Gurl, he almost got my ass! Luckily there was a ceiling!

When their username says “cumdump” but their face says “pity fuck”.

I bought a pregnancy pillow (cause who needs to be held by a man at night when you can be held by a pillow?) but my firstborn son has decided to lay claim to it.

Why did I read this like it was a threat? 🥲😅😆

I feel like the gayness of the rainbow and the gayness of a dick on the face cancel each other out. It’s like multiplying two negative numbers.

Dem ain’t your Funyuns! Dem Foxxy’s Funyuns!

Post a female character you love

Jenna Maroney

Complain to the front desk staff that there’s some light bulbs out in the locker room.

She calls herself a barbie but looks like a cabbage patch kid

I’ll go up your “alley”. 😈

Honey, I’m a gremlin at best. 🤣

You still got to hear that high note get hit.

two men are dancing on a stage with the words " the lawn mower " on the screen ALT: two men are dancing on a stage with the words " the lawn mower " on the screen

Do you start the “engines” by ripping anal beads out of your hole like you’re starting a lawn mower?

For all my flat booty bitches out there, just remember, a pancake is still a cake!

Decided to fuck around and now I can’t eat grapefruit.

Now why can’t the America Eagle employees be as supportive as this!

I once told a man I loved him and he said “I know”.
I’ve since learned to never love men.