There is no one else like you. Don't forget it. Love y'all

[lav mic aquiver as I rise to my theme, audience rapt] but the problem is we’re still on the old paradigm. “Engagement.” and that’s over. done with. cooked. next slide, please
[screen behind me tiles from ENGAGEMENT to JUST POSTING SOME BULLSHIT]
[I cannot be heard over the waves of applause]

The obscenity of a budget that cuts the forest service to fund the re-opening of Alcatraz as a prison.

knowing this makes that other guy's post way way funnier

guys, bluesky is dying. if we don't start getting more likes, a greedy developer will bulldoze the site to put up a parking garage. the only thing that can save it is for a ragtag crew of misfits to put on one last big concert at the community center.

and that line keeps going up, you know what i'm saying

I just blacked out and teleported to a Hobby Lobby. Fuck this shit.

why do ppl do creepy stuff like that

thinking of doing a bit where i call individual posts "microblogs" until i forget or am paid to stop

A can of saving Gracie, a gluten-free oatmeal stout beer. It is in my hand.

When celiacs need beer in recipes it’s this or glutenberg

Yessss also I read that as crockpot at first

husband is cheffing

he's cheffing all over the kitchen

*packing cooked pasta and meat into a box to ship*

I KNOW

this is what husb is making for dinner tonight and it smells really damn good

i would invite you over but you're kinda far

beer braised shortribs and tagliatelle

this was what I was thinking: "and here I am feeling bad about not reading the foreword and the acknowledgements/thanks at the end"

might as well skip the first two chapters and the last two and call it "reading" a book

Me: ok, that's the last straw

My manager at the straw mine: great job, let's head back

Bluesky you are being TOO MEAN to law professors. They have no natural predators and as such need to be able to post in captivity. We've also had a lot of challenges getting them to mate successfully.

Big tech's next move is to put data centers in space. Can it work? In orbit, power is free. But everything else is expensive.

Oh, shut UP, would you.

IS THIS ANY KIND OF ACCEPTABLE PHD RESPONSE I ASK YOU

i fell off my bicycle on main street and it hurt

My sincere call to fellow academics with a modicum of integrity who are riding bikes on main street: LEAVE NOW.

i went to safeway and someone was mean to me

My sincere call to fellow academics with a modicum of integrity who are shopping at Safeway: LEAVE NOW.

m&ms, a great tool for better abs

at least m&ms don't fall through the holes in our hands

There’s a media guy doing the whole Bluesky is awful thing because he blamed libs for the rightwing hating immigrants and we got mad but I saw a previous story he had pinned about AI being great so I think his job is just antagonizing us and then pretending to be offended when we get mad

Funny how there’s never an Atlantic article about how living under barbaric fascism is pushing people to the left.

"i found a booger in the ball pit play area at mcdonalds! Can every PHD please tell me if you think this is acceptable? If you eat at McDonalds, STOP NOW. LEAVE."

the thing that gets me about this is their apparent confusion about "public websites anyone can join"

what he did would be like me going to the park, seeing dogshit on the grass, and announcing NO ONE SHOULD GO TO THIS PARK EVER AGAIN

homie, nobody is forcing you or anyone else on here. just like nobody is forcing you or anyone else on or off of twitter or threads or substack or whatever.

if adults with PhDs can't figure out basic tools of self-moderation on here, there's bigger concerns to be had.