It wasn't the baja blast that killed us, it was the baja radiation

but your honor you know how i get

The pre-cum part of tomato ketchup can break a meal for me

purchased a clearly canadian from kroger for the first time since 1998 to support our boys up north

TIL I learned that my beloved fiancé gave Wreck It Ralph five stars and Casablanca FOUR on Letterbox, the wedding is off

Pavloving my boss to applaud when I enter the office

I, too, am served fresh daily

word of the day is legs spread the word

who wants a kiss

Welcome to the resistance, the Roman Catholic Church

My madness manifests itself in small ways.

The pressing political debate of the day: is the Pope Catholic?

We've reached the point where if you even think of a business, you will receive their promotional emails forever.

Hot single women in your area are not getting their emotional needs met.

All this progress and still no beans that don't give us gas

Noooo, my distraction box stopped working :-(

going for a walk who wants me to think about them

baby’s first internal server error

I’m going back to My Space, guys

Hormuz-stuffed ravioli

"I'm not upset," my wife said, digging a large rectangular hole in the backyard.

time to autistically fall asleep in the shape of the number 4

Image from Twitter

“What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched Fishhenge.”

Nice turn, signal, nut bucket

my cat theo (black cat, dilated pupils, peeking out behind open door)

can i come over and stare at you like this

stop making me feel things all you excited space nerds on my television

while you were watching the space ship i was successfully reentering your mom

we must send a polycule to space to see how that works out

Smiling at my wiener

how. big is your load