My @microsoft.com Surface is the worst computer I've ever owned. It's actually impressive how astoundingly bad this laptop is.

As a kid with a parent in law enforcement, the episode where Eddie unknowingly bought stolen stereo equipment only to get the third degree from Carl hit hard. To be fair to my dad and Carl, they both apologized and acknowledged us as victims.

Man, five minutes late, and a bunch of people have already made the best Belvedering jokes.

I misread that as humanity and felt it deep in my bones.

Phillip Marlowe and ET's mom did a show together?

Loved the Malcolm in the Middle reboot. Didn't miss a beat.

Oh, Aunt Zelda. My crush on you knew no bounds.

Do you ever think that maybe Bill and Ted should have given Abraham Lincoln, Billy the Kid, and Joan of Arc a heads-up before they brought them back to their respective times?

News used to be better

The boys.

Kicked his own brother to the curb. Dude didn't play around.

Mulholland Drive
Apocalypse Now
Casablanca

Amadeus
Night of the Living Dead
Dirty Dozen

Manhunter
Ed Wood

I hope this was a Fletch spinoff about the further adventures of Larry.

"Conquistadors in the 16th century discovered that with the right combination of snake venom and plums, the male genitalia can stay at attention for upwards of seventeen hours."

April Fool's Day (1986) - Official Trailer YouTube video by ScreamFactoryTV

youtu.be/EgeBYZSSIIc?...

Neve Campbell saying "Vink. With a va-va-va-va" is ASMR for me.

Almost Mind your glass.

This story about a nightmare hook-up originally ran in Trembling With Fear in January of 2024. I’ve re-edited it since then.

msubjack.substack.com/p/almost?r=9...

Did anyone else have a crush on Belinda from The Bookish Babysitter episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? Had to be a combination of the books, bangs, and cloak.

Ehhhhhyup!

To the idiot yelling "Where the hoes at?!", I'm going to hazard a guess and say they're staying far away from you.

Almost Mind your glass.

This story about a nightmare hook-up originally ran in Trembling With Fear in January of 2024. I’ve re-edited it since then.

msubjack.substack.com/p/almost?r=9...

Leave Arnold and Dudley alone!