If you’re easily offended then maybe the Internet isn’t for you.

As I get older, my eyesight gets worse but my ability to see through bullshit gets better.

You might be right. It was a little bit too polite 🤔

Duck, Duck Fuck This Shit

Remember encyclopedias? My GOD, we were barbarians.

Can someone explain why I can’t ever get a decent wifi signal but the fucking Taliban can broadcast live from a cave?

Every day I have to hear about some asshole

Studies have shown that fuck all this shit

Women belong in the kitchen.

Men belong in the kitchen.

Everyone belongs in the kitchen... The kitchen has FOOD.

I say “well, hello there” to pretty ladies I see because I don’t have a tail to wag.

Indeed 🫣

I did too 😂

Don’t be mad if you’re being used for sex.
Be mad if you’re being used for cooking and laundry.

I can’t control anyone else’s stupid. I can only control my own stupid, and even that’s a toss up

Me at 8pm: I’m definitely going to bed early tonight …

Me at 1am: I wonder what ever happened to Macaulay Culkin?

Fair point 🤭

I said I was sorry 😂🤦‍♀️

I’m sorry, but why is it called semen and not “diquid?”

😂👏

Single and ready to flingle myself into an active volcano.

😂👏

If I wasn’t already following you, I’d instantly follow you just for this. 🤤🤭

No standup or acting for me. I prefer behind the scenes. Artistic, yes but also helpful, thought provoking and at the very least, entertaining. You’ll just have to wait and see, my friend. 😉

Hot 🔥

😂👏

Planning, yes indeed. A lot has changed since I released the first album many years ago. There is more than just music in the works. ☺️

🤭 😘