The tool you trust all day everyday.

See you in Kellogg’s town.

Intelligent waste.

Lift to tuck in.

This is your reminder that any nonsense marketing phrase can be disarmed by appending the word “daddy”.

I didn’t know how to present those on the page and then I saw a Photo Booth in the wild on holiday!

A reference sheet for a male gnoll character. Shown from all angles with a selection of goofy facial expressions on one side. He’s called Eikrím. Old Norse would have you believe that was a combination of the words for oak and for the sort of surface frost apples due to a rapid snap of cold.

Mods are sleeping, post gnolls!
This is the ref sheet I drew in Feb but still haven’t done anything with yet.

And all the cats.

A modified version of the Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin’s dad explains something. Calvin’s dad: Listening to indie rock? I'll show you something interesting. The two types of indie rock are 'Upset About Something' and 'Stomp Clap Hey!' All indie rock falls into these two categories: Radiohead? Upset About Something. Mumford and Sons? Stomp Clap Hey!. Calvin: Yeah... Calvin’s dad: Royal Blood is Upset About Something and Of Monsters And Men is Stomp Clap Hey!. Despite sounding like Upset About Something, Bastille's 'Pompeii' is in fact a barely disguised Stomp Clap Hey!. The final frame is Calvin not being able to sleep.

I felt compelled to make this after a conversation had in the car:

I said one of these in a sales meeting:
“Oh no, I used the indicator and got tetanus.”
“I think I missed my calling to be a parrot.”
“It’s the stand in the road with no crocs on challenge!”
“Pump and dump scheme for people.”
“The midi-cloriens are very illiterate.”
“Please do not wank off the bed.”

I said one of these quite loudly in the office:
“I bet my liver tastes great now.”
“Someone has ejaculated popcorn everywhere.”
“Squirting shit over mother.”
“Your semi-transparent toilet is ready!”
“Ooh! Lots of eroticy things for me to lick!”
“Do you do it for brown?”
“Mismatched armpit flavours.”

I said one of these whilst browsing in Big Tesco:
“Slowly and carefully strangling a harmonica player for 14 hours.”
“It’s a staggering recreation of anything in Stockport!”
“A fart like hitting a ping pong ball.”
“The ginger has breached containment.”
“My pelvic floor will never be the same again.”

We should be useless together sometime! I miss youuuuuuuu!

Oh! I am now aware I should be internationally asexual today. All region restrictions on my asexuality have been lifted so folks all across the world can now be accidentally snubbed when attempting to flirt with oblivious ol’ me.

Just add chilli for loaded foreskins!

Meme format: a skeleton weightlifting. Text: Microsoft is a corporation that turns “Microsoft CEO claims 30% of its new code is written by AI” into “Our commitment to Windows quality”.

You’re welcome.

Is it normal to recite to someone a thing they don’t like even though you know they don’t like it?

Never has a song been sung by someone with so little love for what they’re doing.

How Bizarre by OMC.

Go for it!

I’ve had a Kona electric (base model) and now an Ioniq 6 (top spec). Very happy with them both, but the ICCU on my Ioniq 6 has been replaced twice now (once as a precaution and most recently due to failure). Drives amazing, very comfortable, blind spot cameras and HUD super handy. Happy to chat more

I said one of these on Christchurch High Street:
“It’s either a lovely little Swedish café or an endoscopy clinic.”
“Thank you for visiting Musical Gangbang Street.”
“Questioning the New Zealand Duvet Authority!”
“It’s like sleeping in a Vienetta.”
“One Sandi Toksvig appreciator.”

…filming a gherkin?

Affirmations✨

Amazing news <3

I said one of these from under a blanket:
“They’ll charge you a corkage fee on a Pot Noodle.”
“I feel like a Bene Gesserit envoy.”
“When you’re at the supermarket and hear the beep, think of the fun you could be having driving a Toyota Corolla.”
“A juicy support vehicle.”
“Cowardly retirement home.”

I see NZ also has patches of homeopathic 5G.

My alt text was absolutely magnificent, though. :C

Oh yeah, I blame Jaguar for using the wrong letter.

Pregnancy repellent.

Observation: Woolworths supermarkets are laid out by the criminally insane. Almond butter next to steak. Easter eggs next to Brie. USB cables next to biscuits. Insect repellent next to gravy. My favourite: condoms next to baby supplies.

I did a scoot. It was very scooty.

Someone at NFC please crush Neo, thanks