ME: things are too serious for me to waste time thinking up jokes now. im done with social media, maybe forever

ALSO ME: the Scooby doo universe is exactly the same as ours except their Jesus Christ figure was named Jinkies Crinkies. also vampires and monsters are real but only sometimes

I respect it

as a cheese lover i think my mild lactose intolerance actually enhances the cheese-eating experience. it gives the whole thing gravitas and consequence. the bliss is sweeter when i know i will willingly suffer for it

SLAPS MY FACE, I WILL WORK HARD