Every time the bumper music starts to go to commercial I have my finger ready on the mute button just in case

The Apple Sports app is too good, my lock screen already had the score updated to 6-0 before I even saw it, lol

Bird just flew directly into my closed office window and made a THUD that scared the shit out of me

I haven’t even washed this window in years, you need some little bird glasses or something

Anyway, between this and my fiber still being out making it almost impossible to work, I might be spending my Thursday afternoon literally touching grass

Maybe routing the entire internet through one company’s servers was a mistake

All this focus on protein, nobody’s getting enough fiber, and that’s why my home internet is out this morning

Nah, that’s the same woman before and after a week at the beach

That thing you like sucks

I also have two different numbers, website reporting over 10% more than the app on my phone

No business accounts involved here, though

How often, when such ID was requested, did you implore the person to look at this photograph?

Yep, I block off 11:30-12:30 every day for it, which seems to ward off everything except for company-wide meetings

11am, which _mostly_ works

It’d be better if my stomach could actually hold out until noon instead of always wanting me to eat at 11:30

My company moved from Seattle to Denver and apparently decided to go scorched earth on their old home because all our company-wide meetings are at 9am MT

RIP to my streak of not spilling a beverage in my new car (November 2024—April 2026)

I was really hoping we were gonna go ahead and finish it off this week because I’m gonna be camping overnight tonight 🙃

Walt’s gotta just give the batters a blanket red light on challenges, this is embarrassing

As annoyed as I was at being stuck in another hour-plus work meeting this morning, fuck, maybe that wasn’t so bad after all

yoooooo HBD Nandor!

Not sure if I’m watching a basketball game or a knife fight battle royale

See, the problem is you can't have Bluesky on the moon because there’s no atmosphere, that’s why it’s not working

Well, I guess Payamps was efficient about it at least

It’s the stream, thought it died completely a few minutes ago

Still having to hear Newt’s voice on my TV in the year of our Lord 2026 has got to constitute some form of torture

Ok, now for real this time

We needed this rain

I’d say we need this rain, but I don’t even know if this counts tbh

I was born with a 404 home phone number, I’m counting it

A big thank you to the fiber cable for waiting until this morning to cause an outage instead of in the middle of that mess

(hopefully the last time I have to do this for several months, fingers crossed)

It’s 11pm on a Friday, let’s hop on a work call!

Beat his ass, Dawn