i truly implore everyone to discover the magic of breaking up with someone who makes you unhappy Please

i have never seen a clip from that couples therapy show that has given me the impression that the therapy was working

“you visit often”

four years ago today matt barzal made sure Islanders fans would be pointing at the NHL highlight reel for years to come

i’m being very serious do we know if he did or did not get permanent eyeliner tattooed

let me hold your hand when i say this - it is very weird to brag about academic achievement in a post-No Child Left Behind world.

were you a “gifted child ” or did the american education system famously and dramatically deteriorate over your lifetime until you developed an inflated sense of self linked to making school look “easy” in contrast to kids who needed to learn differently and weren’t given that opportunity?

if you genuinely think casey’s hit on bichsel was even a Minor penalty, i fear professional hockey may not be the sport for you

we meet up at set break(s) to stretch and remind each other it’s only a few hours

founding a support group for partners of phish fans

my best friend had to do a crisis training today and

surely this can’t outlast 11 hours and 22 minutes of middle earth

television screen showing lord of the ring extended editions

me at the first sign of inconvenience:

luna lovegood voted for jill stein

the thing is about the tush push is like sure it’s allowed and if you can stomach doing such a thing on live television in front of a national audience i suppose you deserve those points but at what cost to us, the viewing public

sunday morning

A handyman and a woman stand looking at strange creatures coming through a hole in the wall: “You’ve got a tear in the very fabric of reality, that’s how they keep getting in.”

I think this might be my favorite New Yorker comic of all time, 🤣.

Artist Edward Steed

*youth pastor voice* ya know, i can think of another guy who came down from the heavens to save humanity

Bobs last name is Burgers, that’s why his restaurant is named Bob Burgers’

@npr.org this is why people are not upset that guy killed that other guy. hope this helps!!

“principles of justice” coming from an NYPD Police commissioner 🙃

friendly reminder that “friendly reminder” is among the most emotionally violent things one adult can say to another adult

narrator: they were, in fact, not back

we are so fucking back

waking up after staying sober at the party and realizing it wasn’t the booze that was making you say weird stuff you’re just like that

i don’t remember who said it but can confirm the girlies Are at the hockey game

just got to the part of fire & blood where everyone establishes and agrees upon how the line of succession works. really relieved we got that sorted i was worried there for a minute

COLE: COOP, THEY CAUGHT THE CEO SHOOTER. HIS NAME WAS TONY SPAGHETTI, REAL BOY NEXT DOOR. ABS LIKE ADONIS. POLITICAL IDEAS OF A FUTON. PERHAPS THE IDEAL MAN