He had a baby with someone last month, do you think I'm the dad?

Just gotta check in with the quarterly hair growth progression

And now I'm blonde 🤷‍♀️

Hi I have some hair now

Eating a protein bar so I can hit 69g of protein today 😎

Why am I talking to a MAN on the PHONE someone shoot me

Damn that's a sick legacy, I need to run into more VHS nerds irl

If a man ever wants to slide back into my life with 100% success rate all he'd have to say is "the exorcist was on, got me thinking of you." Lmao

I thought I wanted a sweet himbo, but I get mad when men use the wrong your/you're so it's not working out

Oh my god I've BECOME the fuckboy 😩

Skull tat #2

Turns out if you add people on Instagram just bc you think they're hot you might get to make out with them

it’s gonna be so cool and cyberpunk when we have the decades-old rusting mad-max car aesthetic of Cuba but without the universal healthcare or vaccination programs of Cuba

imo i will find love at the mental illness labor camp

Don’t tell me democracy is at risk and a constitutional crisis is unfolding and the best you got is a modified ping pong paddle.

screenshot that reads Elon Musk almost needed SFPD wellness check after ‘breakdown,’ getting booed at Dave Chappelle show ‘He got to a point where he locked himself in his office, was so upset’ that Twitter employees feared he would hurt himself, the author of a new book says about the billionaire

Think we’ve forgotten about the time that Elon was booed so badly by fans of Dave Chapelle (of all people) that he locked himself in his office and Twitter employees considered calling the cops to do a wellness check.

What I’m saying is we can go harder.

Cancelled a date with a dude because I didn't like the way he texted🫠 I'm gonna be alone forever

Not the last guy who ghosted me being at the end of my row at this show and refusing to make eye contact with me

Should I stay bald and be Nosferatu for Halloween?

I love being stoned

Saying yes chef in bed>saying yes daddy

Just saw a comment that said "alcohol makes me neurotypical, weed makes me low functioning neurodivergent" and nothing has ever been more relatable

@debbiedayglo.bsky.social was playing "where's baldo" when looking for me at this show

photo of a wintry street, cars and people and snow flurries zooming past. on a building down the block, a massive advertisement hangs overlooking the traffic. it is luigi mangione, edited into the image of a saint. the text ‘free luigi’ is featured prominently in yellow, front and center.

‘Free Luigi’ billboard has gone up in lower Manhattan the evening before his next court appearance.

Sent in anon.

mcu = my chemical universe

I have an older Google pixel, it's gone through much abuse but still does fine lol

It just took like 2 minutes to be able to pull them all up, it somehow never got hot 😂

Just closed 1637 tabs on my phone, I deserve a medal for being so brave.