So is hurling myself in a lake season!

Perfume bottles are so pretty. Usually my spring and summer fragrances are sunscreen and Old Spice deodorant. 👍

I need this to continue only because I think it’d be funny. Canes go all the way to the finals - win the cup. Only goal scorer? Logan Stankoven. If I bet a dollar on that I could single handedly end world hunger.

That’s very generous of Sarah.

Dear Michelle,

Just for you.

❤️,

PP

Hey ChatGPT - can you turn "fuck your office fuck your workplace I literally don't care about anyone just pay me" into me sounding like I'm a team player who greatly values my job over my free time, personal time, and general well being?

Does believing in anything mean getting past the ECF? Because I want to believe that too, mostly because I believe two dudes will make out on the ice before it happens.

I’m staying hopeful — for both. 👍 🌈

Pretty sure Bones is my ride or die.

Had a client bring me THREE BOXES of homegrown tomatoes last year. Three. Boxes. I gave away as many as I could and still had two boxes left. Broke out the blender and made a shitload of tomato sauce one afternoon. Lay flat in freezer in bags once it's cooled. Works great.

Tomato sauce freezes beautifully.

Or learn to can!

You have options.

My two cents: pay Bones whatever he wants to come back, and make Ollie captain. #CBJ

I file as soon as humanly possible because I want my money. I always owe state for some reason, but Turbo Tax just lets me pick a day in the future. Pretty sure if you owe Federal, they have to be paid by tomorrow - but even if you can't pay, still file and see if a payment extension is an option.

If you're outside going extra, add a Liquid IV in the bottle!

Those things are amazing.

I'm headed to Greenville for the weekend for back to back Swamp Rabbits games. I rarely spend the night in there it's so close, but for the last games I will - make a weekend of it. It'll be 86. EIGHTY SIX. Fucking finally. I wish you cool nights, but I'll gladly take all your heat.

SO MUCH LAKE.

What a beautiful area. Have a wonderful time!

...... what?

That's on par with Zendaya making a post about how she doesn't like the new pair of hiking boots I got.

It's that random.

Where might you be escaping to?

My immediate takeaway from ICE saying the "worst of the worst" are on the streets means it's them. They're on the streets - and they are the worst. That's the only thing I got from this article.

Ran away to Hunting Island to camp for the holiday weekend. Can’t decide if I want to fully become a mermaid or steal a Chinook (Parris Island is super close). Both are tempting.

I still can’t believe a stupid hockey team in stupid Ohio in stupid Columbus has absolutely taken over my heart. As has the city. I love everything about it all.

I never stood a chance.

Stupid Ohio. 💙💙💙

This is hurting my soul. Like the Canes are safe. They’re in. Whatever. They could easily lose this game. Please don’t hurt me. Just let CBJ get in too — and then I’ll figure out how to handle my life with both the Canes and Jackets in the playoffs as I have an existential crisis.

SpongeBob Squarepants on the caller ID calling a defense attorney.

I don’t mean to brag, but SpongeBob chose *us* to be his lawyer.

The Insta algorithms scare me - they are SO accurate and timely - it's some Skynet level awareness. Anyway, this is what ad I'm getting today, and it's just like, "well no shit I need to move to Canada."

I'm more likely to get hit by a bus full of sharks on the moon than get a perfect bracket, so each year has a new theme.

Here's my Final Four in ESPN Men's Tournament Challenge

For years, I went with logic - that didn't work. Then I went with what the analysts said. Nope. In the past, I've chosen favorite colors, favorite mascots, and did slightly better.

This year, the winner of each matchup is where I'd rather live: fantasy.espn.com/tc/sharer?ch...

I haven't seen that movie in years, and I really need to correct that.

SAME.

I celebrate! I saw one of those things all poofed out today on my workout and almost cried. I wanted to hug it. I have Visine and Kleenex and have no fucks to give. So close to constant warm weather.

Just incredibly anticlimactic. No "Marchand to Florida" notifications where I nearly dropped my phone.

The trade deadline looms ahead, and at this point, I'd be happy if we traded him for a locker room therapy dog. We can name the dog Gus. I am BEYOND over the insane levels of hypocrisy that Slavin exudes on a daily basis. I've decided the second "c" stands for complicit.