Free dystopian world-building detail: the phrase turns to “snitches get ditches” to reflect their lowered charges resulting in lowered punishment (in a world of gulags and judge dread / barney fief style law)

Come on down to fusion asian / italian at Yu Stupidas’

Seeing all the amazing stuff that people crochet on the internet mostly tells me my mom needs to start hittin’ the needles to catch up.

They’re making you look like a Herb, Mom!

I yearn for there to be harnessed cocoanut power where one good bonk just erases a play through or a tv series so you could experience it new again.

Cocoanut bokeries would be on every street corner.

*metal guitar riffs*

I’m on the highway to Huell (Howser)

I melt baby bell cheese wax and stick my feet right into the pot for my DIY “3d” printed boots.

puff,puff,pass which as we all know is O(n) complexity

I’m a legend around my back porch.

insult comedy drones

Buzzfeed’s 7th best way to get a UTI

That’s Ruslan, he’s actually Azerbaijani.

It’s a medical condition.

People never talk about the pen you can write with upside down… :(

I got a trick for you J-dog.

If you have a ramekin, or some sort of small dish thats your standard
“bowl”. Crack an egg in it.

Cook it for a minute.

Too cooked? Cook less.
Need more cook? Cook more.

Once you dial it in you know the exact time for forever in the future. Don’t use many bowl size

My family is a crime syndicate in Junk packing district

prisms are dei for light

Subversion of expectation: It’s a different sex crime than you’re expecting.

#Anime video game:

#CrazyTaxi: Truck-kun edition

Help pedestrians reach S-tier greatness in their next life

worst smell: star wars trash compactor

best smell: slightly damp outdoor cat + petrichor

Enshittification posting

Best webcam spying defense, have 1 less USB port than you need so you have to unplug something (keyboard?) to plug in the webcam and it’s clear when you keyboard doesn’t work you know the webcam could be on.

I’m a Japanese video game ghost - a shikigamei.

Can of “Don’t quit” root beer protein shake, whatever the hell that is.

Let me be the first of many to say:

“No thank you, meat shake.”

There was an article job shaming Lisa Bonet’s husband from the Cosby Show working at Trader Joe’s a while back.

I’d suck several dicks for that job in 2026.

All the expired milk I can drink? Fuck yes I’m in.

Am I misunderstood or what, every time I turn around #BTS has a new member?? I was like back when they were a trio, and now it ‘a like a street gang worth of 26 year olds

yeah, I do. I’m an SRE, I’m looking at stuff like janitor with hungry eyes.

<dave chappelle crack head meme “ya’ll got any of them medical degrees?”>

I’m sorry to hear that. I am not looking forward to the next time I need to find a job.

I really wonder if it’s truely like.. responded to 500 positions at 10 companies so the HR screener is just like “fuck this guy” and they just nuke them all.

Surely people aren’t submitting resumes for 500 different positions at different companies, that they are also qualified somehow organically

I fell for the cat trap you set. Adorbs.

It’s amazing to think they have stuff like that and the poop-in-a-box cancer screen company exists making an easy test available to millions

In 12-36 months when we live in mad max times as gas bandits and human butchers we’ll look back at how wild the “before times” were and how dope science was.

The Last of Us tv show poster with Ellie and .. I don’t know who it is. He’s great.

“The Loaf of Us”