Nobody will think any less of you for drinking whiskey on the toilet.

Summer is hard on the crevices.

I want to fight every cunt on LinkedIn. Everyone gets a free headlock and a boot to the groin.

Can you ever really consider yourself a man until you’ve pissed in your kitchen sink, or someone else’s?

Clever. The enemy guns will never get an accurate range on you, wearing that.

Life is a game of Snakes and Ladders with way more snakes than ladders.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything.

Whatever you do, do not think about the remorseless march of time.

Childbirth is for cunts.

Careers are for cunts.

If you are going to or from the beach, then yes. To the shop? No.

People wearing Crocs and Dryrobes away from a pool or beach should be killed.

Been a while since this came to mind. But now more than ever.

One wonders how the average American will react when they find out that their nation has become a vassal state of Russia? Not pleased, I imagine.

When life hands you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail YouTube video by William Latorre

I think of this at least once a day.

youtu.be/Pq9xATm03qQ?...

There’s a strange glowing orb in the sky! It’ll kill us all!

Just wrote the word “gusset” in an email. Not joking, this will probably be my highlight of the working week.

Yes. Bring crisps.

Can I go home now?

I strongly suspect the main reason why we send children to school is to socially condition them to accept going somewhere they hate five days a week.

I’ve been making my own Prozac. It has two kinds of rum in it.

After the Norman Conquest there was an area of England called Danelaw which accepted Vikings as they were being driven from the rest of the country, on the edge of that in the East Midlands is a place called Bassetlaw, and they accept allsorts.

The January 6 pardons are turning out great.

Do you want anything while I am up?

It’s interesting more than entertaining. The second season lacks pace.

Can’t wait to watch the new series, once I’ve finished Silo.

“Although outwardly he seemed unperturbed, his arse was going like an outboard motor.”

I’m not afraid of hard work, I just don’t like it.

Oh why don’t you just throw yourself down the stairs and have done with it?