A photo of the front cover of issue 1671 of Private Eye magazine, with the caption “on shelves now.” The main headline reads “HORMUZ CRISIS – TRUMP IN DIRE STRAITS.” The cover features two side-by-side images: on the left, Donald Trump sits at a desk holding a telephone receiver with a speech bubble saying “I need help.” On the right, UK prime minister Keir Starmer sits at a desk in front of shelves of legal books, also on the phone, replying in a speech bubble: “We’ve known that for years, you nutter!” A strap-line at the bottom reads: “NATO’S MINEFIELD POLICY – ‘AMERICA FIRST’.”

Hormuz crisis: Trump in dire straits

The new Private Eye is out now.

Sometimes it's good to be honest. We have to establish where the real blame lies. And as long as it's nowt to do with me I'm happy to cast apersions around.😉😁

I know it's a cliche but in these situations I always blame the parents. Because that's the kind of understanding, sympathetic, empathetic kind of chap I am.😉😊

Castellon 3 Mirandes 1 in La Liga 2 tonight. Castellon now up to 4th in the table, just 1 point off the automatic promotion places. Pablo Hernandez doing a fantastic job.

You're right, Macca, I noticed this as well. His main principle should be choosing the team/formation/style of play that wins football matches.😉😁 Because that's what keeps you in a job when you're a professional football manager.😊

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If we were going down the route of signing lots of big, strapping lads over the summer & playing a more direct, physical kind of football, should we perhaps have considered appointing someone like Sean Dyche as manager? #lufc

I thought we started the season quite aggressively, but recent games (away v Brighton & Forest for example) we were so passive. Just sitting back. Not really having a go at the opposition.

You'd hope/expect that Farke & the recruitment team were on the same page when it came to who we signed in the summer. If they aren't/weren't, it's more than a little concerning.

Depressing if true. What happened to side before self? What would be really smart would be to play the style of football that best suits the players he has & wins us football matches.

Yes, should be better weather on Sunday.😊 It's a nice market in a nice setting. Not massive, but I guess there are other places to go in Halifax town centre as well.

Halifax Christmas Market opened at The Piece Hall today. Splendid weather for it...😱🌨☔️

Victor Orta's Real Valladolid knocked out in the 1st Round of the Copa Del Rey by Portugalete, a semi-pro side who play in the 5th tier of the Spanish football league system. Good to know the maestro hasn't lost his touch.😊

Valladolid conceded an equaliser in the 8th minute of injury time last night. They're 9th in the Spanish 2nd Division. I hope Victor started crying again. Though it might have depended whether any cameras were on him or not.🤔🤷‍♂️

I agree that last night's game was huge. I was very, erm, under-impressed by what happened at Burnley. They're a poor side. We could & should have won that game. So last night was vital. Delighted we won.😊

Solid is the right description. Crazy you have to pay £8-£10m for a reserve FB, but that's the way things are in the PL nowadays. Good defensively, but because he isn't left-footed wasn't able to offer the same attacking threat as Gudmundsson. Is that fair? #lufc

Walked to the Co-Op this morning. There's a ginnel that takes you down the side of the local Primary School playing fields (LS27 area). Pleased to report that the kids in the playground were belting out "Marching On Together" followed by "We Are Leeds" at 8.40am.😁 #lufc

Sounds brings back some good memories. My mate & me were so tight, one of us would buy Sounds & the other would buy the NME every week & then of course we'd swap them. Sounds was good for punk back then, so that was the one I'd buy.😊

Others have kindly answered the question for me but basically Farke said Tanaka suffered some problems with his MCL after a 1st half tackle. Managed to carry on playing into the 2nd half. Extent of injury still to be assessed.

He's the Leeds-hating troll. Pretends to be a Leeds supporter, but isn't. His long-time favourite was always Warnock though he likes Dyche as well. His latest favourite to replace Farke is Frank Lampard.😁🤷‍♂️

Didn't realise Lone White had moved over to Bluesky.😉 Is Neil Warnock your back-up option?😀

Suppose it depends on what the scan shows. It may be nothing or it may be weeks out like Ampadu. Fingers crossed & all that jazz.🤞

MCL injury - but not sure how serious. Hopefully not as bad as Ampadu's.

The BIg Match Revisited this Saturday (ITV4 10.30am) features Leeds v Newcastle from Nov 1975 as well as QPR v Spurs & Cambridge v Northampton. Leeds team that day was: Harvey, Reaney, F.Gray, Bremner, McQueen (Harris), Madeley, Lorimer, Cherry, McKenzie, Yorath, E.Gray. #lufc

If you want to continue to watch football, Marc, I think you'll always find a stream or a local pub to help you out. Just my opinion, but there's only certain non-Leeds games I want to watch anyway & I've usually been able to. I don't want to watch football every night, though I know some do.

I know you have kids, Marc. Do they watch a lot of stuff on Sky? On those other channels I mean. If they don't, I agree - that sort of money per month on football is ridiculous.

Fair enough. What price is Sky wanting to charge you from next month? And what are you currently paying? What's the % increase I mean, bearing in mind a lot of people are still struggling financially.

I've never subscribed to Sky. Because of Rupert Murdoch. It was always a point of principle with me. I think the man has been a poisonous influence on the UK. You have to draw the line somewhere. Otherwise you're just talking the talk & not walking the walk.

Saw "Through It All Together" at Leeds Playhouse last night. Enjoyed it. Some very funny moments during the play. Patrick Bamford was in the audience last night. The play ends its run on Saturday. #lufc

Victor Orta bags another 3-year contract.🤦‍♂️This time at Real Valladolid in La Liga 2. #lufc