Merry Christmas

this isn’t even a “xyz platform is better and everyone should use that instead” post, i just genuinely think the algorithm is set to “horrible vibes” on purpose

idk what it is about threads man but scrolling through it is really so draining

A black pillow on a white couch. The pillow is embroidered with the face of a screaming goat, eyes bulging and mouth wide in an expression of unmitigated horror.

Look, I know that fast fashion is terrible and I try to buy nothing new and repair what I have whenever possible. But my normal resistance to Temu ads is utterly undone by this objectively incredible item

did everyone remember to change their clock's gender last night

just in the studio going crazy omfg

cher popped OFF when she made believe

The people that built their heaven on your land are telling you yours is in the sky

—Nina Simone

when it’s october and he hasn’t asked you to be hallow for his ween

MAGA Congresswoman: Bad Bunnys super bowl halftime show a demonic sexual performance

Some advertising you just can't buy

“did you girlboss too close to the sun” is a real line from a brand new taylor swift song i just don’t believe it lmfao

Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough

jokes about the confederacy are always funny, but you gotta think about it in terms of "Supernatural lasted 5x longer than the Confederacy", which is absolutely hysterical

If you say 'heteronormative' or 'unhoused person' or 'food insecurity' you're basically talking gibberish and nobody can understand you but if you say you can see inflammation in children at the airport and that vaccines lower IQ or that germs are a myth you get to fire all the scientists.

I've just invented a new kind of pillow that's cold on both sides. There are also several live eels inside it. "Couldn't you make a version without the eels?" Yes but I won't

!!! one year is amazing, congratulations!!!!

Hey, my partner and I saw you across the bar, and your vibes are just bad. Bringing the entire place down. You should go somewhere else, maybe see the great clown Pagliacci

love when a subreddit is called something like OhWowThatsNeat and then it's just dash cam videos of the most horrific human behavior you've ever seen in your life

i beg your finest pardon?

you know he wanted his “we killed bin laden” moment so fucking bad…

every channel would have had wall to wall coverage about this for DAYS literally ten years ago

katie @katefeetie put a fried egg on my croque monsieur to make it a croque madame and now jk rowling is outside my house yelling

This is THE tweet of all time

After you eat an ortolan this is what you get for dessert

Cannes is like what if we all go to the beach and talk about KPIs hungover

A green duck puppet speaks into a megaphone next to a blue-haired puppet in a safety vest. Caption reads: “Attention, freaks. It’s me.”

this is what Posting feels like

a new name for these has entered the villa 🤯

just two narcissists going aura for aura on their respective platforms

i knew this shit would happen eventually lmfao

maybe that it costs $$$’s for just-okay food and drinks and then hot dog cart is… $ for actually good food?