Our cat Franny laying on a pillow. She looks vaguely morose.

Oh my god GET A JOB

Absolute legend

Happy 11th anniversary of me losing my fucking mind over this QVC clip

I need to know who would still be friends with me if I put a HOONIGAN sticker on my 2021 Subaru Forester with zero modifications

I’m an idiot

My wife @ladykaka.bsky.social and I, from the instrument.com 20th anniversary party

Every time I leave the house for anything but work, I ask Mark @cdi.bsky.social if he’s embarrassed of me because I dress like a tween boy

I fear the cats may have tricked me into second dinner

truly nothing makes me feel genuine, bottom out despair, like we may never be able to correct course, like we are well and truly cooked, like the proliferation of AI

It’s widely known that a shot of expensive whiskey enhances the protein of ramen, especially in the morning

It’s both for him

Had a lovely little trip with my girls

Our dude is finally home! Might just be IBS, might be cancer. We will find out more next week! Meanwhile Franny is at the vet 🙃

Happy anniversary to me and @cdi.bsky.social (we bought this bottle in 2017 for like $30 lol)

When you’re taking someone to the airport, maybe don’t start talking shit on the city your passengers are going to??? Also it’s 5:30am just don’t talk.

This is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen… and yet, I love him (but check out that price tag)

I went to a metal show last night and didn’t wear earplugs… my ears are still ringing… hello I turn 40 in 6 weeks

I’m literally just going to go broke buying Yeti coolers because they won’t stop putting out sick ass seasonal colors

Not even lunchtime, and I’ve been told, “I hate you, stupid idiot” by a six year old

Haha what if you just have the perfect night with your ladies and cry your eyes out as a little treat

Why yes, I DID get stung by a bee on the titty at drag brunch. Thank you for asking.

Set my alarm for 7am, but I was wide awake at 5am all on my own 🙃

Lol Meatloaf can’t wait!

It’s me 😬

IG keeps showing me ads with a grid of all women’s clothing items except for one child’s item that just so happens to be the thing that caught my eye…

I love how hysterical people get on Love Island when someone gets dumped. Y’all known each other for a matter of days and can see each other on “the outside,” but go off cause I love to see it

I love when the humming birds land on the wire with the big boys

Meatloaf just caught a fly in mid-air and then ate it

Honestly, it’s more embarrassing to have an anti-elon sticker on your tesla than having a tesla in the first place

And pie crust