If you’re upside down would it be “down your ass” and “up your throat?” I’m trying to put in a work order.

Happy birthday, Weed! You never get old.

SCOTUS sounds like a Mad Max super villain

Going to go record my guitars in a real rock and roll studio tomorrow. Hopefully I don’t suck.

I don’t know how to tell you this but they most certainly ARE destroying America.

Friendly reminder that the US and Iran are in the middle of a ceasefire…

Did the Chattanooga Choo Choo start in Chattanooga or end in Chattanooga, or did it just go through Chattanooga?

Millions Of Dead Groks

“Loaded G-string” is redundant in my bedroom

The loaded six-string stays ON my back during sex.

(Also it’s vegan)

Bottle of Cholula Cremosa in all its glorious splendor.

Best hot sauce in the world and it’s not even close.

Back of Cholula Cremosa bottle which says “TIPS & TRICKS. Drizzle on tacos, enchiladas, soups, tostadas, elotes, and more!”

Put it on food? Wow, what a helpful tip/trick.

The six-string was unloaded when it was on my back, your honor.

Looks like a Dunable. Either a Yeti or Cyclops I think.

Are there Catholics who aren’t cunts and when did this happen?

They should call being released from the hospital something other than discharge because that sounds like something the doctors should maybe look at.

My lifestyle (eating pizza) determines my deathstyle (choking on pizza)

Shreddecheesy Alfredo

Nice bullshit AI.

A Bahn mi sandwich being held in the drivers seat of a car (Honda) in a parking lot, before turning into crumbs

Happy Bahn mi in the car Friday, ya crumb bums!

Come hell or high whatever

Amber is the color of your inner chi

Same but also Will Smith and Gordon Ramsey too.

I’ve given it some thought and I’ve come to a decision: we need to kill the person who invented toenail clippers.

I ain’t wasting my good skeets on this fucking blackout. You get my D-list skeets today.

We’re all just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks really

That looks pretty awful too actually. Can’t wait

Can I donate my libido?