My pillow is whispering secrets about the price of gravel. I’ve forgotten how to blink in the correct language. The wall is definitely judging my knees.
It's 2:29 and I still can't sleep.
Went on a tinder coffee date earlier.
Why do people feel the need to lie about their age and use old pics?
I've been caught out like this a few times now.
Was channel flicking and started watching Ros Na Run. Shit seems to have gone down before I started watching.... Not as good as Pobol y Cwm 🤣
Cheers buddy 👍🏾
Stupid move getting the flu and Covid jab at the same time. I fucking ache all over!
OMG you're pregnant! I'm so happy for you dude
That bit when SJP manages to insult everyone at the table still makes me gasp lol
Does Trump only want to get the Epstein files released because he thinks everyone reckons he blew Clinton?
I was that baby.... And she really didn't need to go around the world to find me, she left me in fucking Boots!
Just watched #EvilDeadRise and went into full 'Scary Movie Brenda Meeks in the cinema' mode shouting at the stupid kids in the film 🤣
Jeez
Phrasing! 😆
Because film companies are scared of original ideas
I'm starting to think the denim chore jacket I just ordered will make me more Dexys Midnight Runners instead of stylish quinquagenarian about town
My cuz has sent everybody his Amazon wishlist for his bday/Xmas presents.
To say my fam has reacted negatively would be a understatement.
They've even gone so far to start a new family whatapp group without [NAME REDACTED] in it to bitch about him.
I feel they have one of those for me too.
If I get offered free donuts from now on, it's a definite no #Pluribus
The 9 mince pies and a giant cup of tea I just inhaled has put me in snooze mode
I just watched someone trip and hit the ground so hard it hurt my back and neck watching it happen.
*Sniggers*
I just threw up so hard, I think it rearranged my internal organs.
2 extremely drunk women enter the pub
Don't sit near me, Don't sit near me.... GOD DAMN IT!!
Wear and tear?! *Loads shotgun* it's better this way
I bet. When I was a yoof working at a club, I used to have to look after all the singers/groups doing PA's. It was baby sitting fucking children sometimes
Something has running round in the roof space for a month now but I'm too much of a pussy to see what it is. I can hear it's little nails tapping on the floorboards up there. I might have to burn the house down.
ARE THEY TEETH?!
Did all households get a NI Labour Market Survey? I had some bloke knock on my door asking why I hadn't done it earlier. I may have been a bit rude 😬
I never knew Ards has a bloody airport!!!
Oh no not another one. A woman in the opposite house fell asleep in the sun and all I heard was a massive scream when they were trying to get her off the sunbed. Hope your other half is ok
I'm missing something here. Is that a hosp???
You in Ards?
