My favorite part of the day is right after I blow my nose and I can actually hear halfway decently for about 5 minutes before my Eustachian tubes clog back up

Just so we're clear:

Fuck Donald Trump.

And fuck you if you voted for him.

…

kermit the frog is dancing on a stage with a red curtain behind him . ALT: kermit the frog is dancing on a stage with a red curtain behind him .

Me freaking out when a tiny spider descended on a thread MILLIMETERS FROM MY FACE while I was composing an email

How to Think (and Act) Like a Dissident Movement AOC, solidarity, and people power.

This is how we do it
<insert Montell Jordan song here>

So, Mr Thump, are all boycotts "illegal," or just the one against Tesla? Inquiring minds want to know. I believe SCOTUS made a ruling in 1982 establishing consumer boycotts are a First Amendment right. And don't forget the Boston Tea Party way back in 1773. Boycotts are a sacred right.

Some kid at school did a Nazi salute this morning. My youngest kiddo, a 16 yr old honor student with a heart of gold, dropped what he was doing, got up and walked over, and punched the kid, hard. He said, "Don't do that," and went back to what he was doing. I couldn't be prouder. #punchnazis

It's a beautiful day to punch a Nazi ❤️🫶

Byline Times - Bias and Credibility LEFT-CENTER BIAS These media sources have a slight to moderate liberal bias.  They often publish factual information that utilizes loaded words (wording

About the source:

Track the dismantling of American democracy here:

Well... At least we haven't been swallowed by a whale 🤷‍♀️

The US was built by unpaid Black labor. On the backs of enslaved African men and women. Don't ever forget that, because morning like that should've happened or should ever happen again. What a powerful representation of that in the Superbowl half time performance. #blackhistory is #americanhistory

You should see when they have an opening in their shipping department for fudge packers 🤣

Normalize pronouncing DOGE as DOUCHE.

Me too. They're good judges of character, I've found.

-Revving their muffler-less car at 2am
-Chasing their chickens around the yard by flashlight at 11pm
-Screaming at each other
-Loudly declaring that the neighbor on the other side is a "mean ole bitch"
-Doing donuts on their ATV in their backyard
-shooting a bow at targets with Kamala's face

I really do love living in a neighborhood. And I love having dogs. Every day I tell my dogs that whatever it is they're barking at is "just neighbors doing neighbor things". You may be wondering, "But what, pray tell, are neighbor things? Well, I'll tell ya. 🧵👇

I had a minor surgery today. I was so grateful for the anesthesia... It was nice to be completely unaware of the world falling apart. Like a lil mini vacation from bullshit.

a foggy forest with trees and plants and a pond ALT: a foggy forest with trees and plants and a pond

So. Much. Rain! Our back yard is so swampy, I swear I just saw Sarah Huckabee Sanders slithering around out there.

This is Worf. He's 90 lbs of lovable and adorable dog. Worf is also a huge wuss. Some of the things that scare him include:
-a grooming brush
-a kazoo
-a hair clip
-a trash bag
-my hair dryer
-a cardboard tube
-being kissed on the top of his head
-not having eyes on me for more than 10 seconds

a woman wearing boxing gloves is running in front of a punching bag . ALT: a woman wearing boxing gloves is running in front of a punching bag .

Super important to keep a little bail money tucked away in case you run into a Nazi that needs their shit rocked.

Came across this shameful display during school drop-off this morning. This trash can was humping its own lid right there in the open! Pretty sure this constitutes public trashturbation, which is Against The Law. And so close to a school! 😡

"Boop" - Zebra walking past a self checkout.

My teenage son, after watching me eat shit on our icy driveway for the 3rd time in as many days: "Maybe you're just bad at walking. Like you forgot what having legs is for."
Me: "No, son, I'm just clumsy and I'm talented at finding new and creative ways to fuck myself up." #winter #clumsy

Snow fetch with my confused dogs 😂

Apparently the MAGA cult has its very own Chrome-based web browser, "Tusk." Surely that's a reference to an elephant's tusk and not an amalgamation of "Trump" and "Musk." Surely.

Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg, and some days you're the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.