Can someone remind me how the parties are the same again?

It's weird that dogs are taller when they sit.

Trump is a condom on the dick of progress.

Covered

The "Back The Blue" crowd is clapping while Trump actually becomes the one to defund the police.

The guy who buys gold toilets would like you to think he's concerned about spending.

Just found one!

Does anyone have a good follower pack for news I would normally trust the CDC to give me?

This dog LOVES a tall blanket pile.

The Empire really puts control panels in the *worst* possible places huh?

Grab a new jacket before prices increase.

Were you applying to be Head of Meditation Arts at Core Power Yoga?

Can't believe all these red light therapy gurus haven't once considered the wrinkled and scaled effects it's had on reptiles for decades.

MOVING FORWARD PLEASE ENSURE ALL INTERNET JOKES FIT THE STANDARD "KNOCK KNOCK" FORMAT.

A lot of idiots are getting confused.

If you have IBS you're a DEI hire.

Democrats: How can we go viral?

(a pastor goes mega-viral for calling Trump a bigot to his face)

Democrats: What if Tim Kaine made a BLT on Instagram Live

This shit annoys the shit out of me. It's not even clever. Can we not just say "Fuck Elon Musk"?

Too many unnecessary details and zero teeth. Would have been better like...

The next time the GOP tells you they are pro family, pro life, or that they support the working class, remember that Trump just signed an Executive Order to kill postpartum care for moms.

They wouldn't know a soundbite if it was on the handle of the rake they just stepped on.

If a Nazi salute can mean "sending your heart" then we should all be able to call him a cunt on national TV and just say it means "handsome rich guy."

Teach him to smile. For all of us.

1 down, 1,582 to go.

C'mon. The correct answer would be 2. One to screw in the lightbulb and the other to make sure the energy source is green, conflict-free, free-range, and farm-to-table.

Returning phone calls is common courtesy so I'm not sure why that pot/kettle thing is such an insult.

So impure?

Get to know me by my grammar...
I capitalize the b in Black but not the g in god.

Almost like a nonbinary gender

Yeah zero retention