It’s finally this diva’s time of the year to shine ✨🥚✨

Honestly every time I go to Walgreens it’s a no from me 🙅‍♂️

Happy St. Patrick’s Day 🍀

First run of the year ☑️

Buying groceries for 1 person at Costco is a dangerous game because now I have industrial sized mayo (which I will not finish for 3 years) and industrial sized cottage cheese (which I have finished in 3 days)

Ugh so sorry to hear babes, sending love your way 🫶

And on top of everything else…as someone who suffers from second hand embarrassment it’s sooooooo fucking hard being an American rn

a woman with red hair is standing in front of a blue background and says `` well , i got it . '' ALT: a woman with red hair is standing in front of a blue background and says `` well , i got it . ''

Re: a new job

Hate it when a company forces you to do a personality test as part of the hiring process. How about I just give you my zodiac big three and we call it a day?

My four favorite things!!!

Omg I haven’t looked at mine in forever! Will need to check back into it sometime too

One thing about me is that I will fight Nazis until I’m six feet in the ground.

Well at least one of us has gotten a haircut recently ✂️

Call me Sheryl Crow the way I’m soaking up the sun 🌞

Shout out to everyone doing their Christmas shopping the morning of Christmas Eve 🫥

a woman is sitting on a couch with a purse on her waist ALT: a woman is sitting on a couch with a purse on her waist

“I’m going to hold your hand when I say this”

Me:

🙋🏽‍♂️

Ok but where is Sean Paul on this list!!!??? 👀

My top song and beverage of 2024
❤️🤍💙

Two vay low? PERIODT!!

Is he gay or just going through a June Pink Pilates Princess Vogue Pop phase? 💅🏻

a person is dancing in a dark room with a sign that says cheetos ALT: a person is dancing in a dark room with a sign that says cheetos

Me when the Vengabus is coming

Excited to lie about my Spotify wrapped this year

homer simpson is angry shouting at a very important person . ALT: homer simpson is angry shouting at a very important person .

Getting in line!

Hi from my very fall themed childhood bathroom 🍂

2 years ago I went and picked up my new best friend 💕🐾

Typically a staunch believer in no Christmas activities before Thanksgiving, but for Mariah I’ll make an exception