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Posts by Clarence Threepwood, Ninth Earl of Emsworth

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a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a room . ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a room .

Why have I only just realised that The Final Count Down is song about successful vampire hunters?

2 months ago 0 0 0 0

I beg to differ. Surely the one in the White House is bigger.

2 months ago 0 0 0 0
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I'm surprised at such a low valuation, even down here, but I just hope Devon & Cornwall Police get him back safely.
#Cornwall #Kernow

2 months ago 3 1 2 0

In this fragmented and fractious world...

... any idea how we can organise a 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝗰𝗼𝘁𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗨𝗦 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀?

It must be possible, but...?

#BoycottUSA

3 months ago 4 1 0 0

Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.

Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.

3 months ago 59664 20253 1553 1130

Yep, I don't expect anything further from Europe in regards to the U.S kidnapping of Venezuelan dictator Maduro and his wife. UN is basically a paper tiger without any real authority at this point as well. The U.S will definitely take a massive hit to their reputation though.

3 months ago 33 2 3 0

"international law must be followed" is european for "thoughts and prayers"

3 months ago 13788 4194 65 68
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And they're already dazed on the canvas.

3 months ago 4 0 0 0

Maybe the key here is, back in the early 1950s, Sharon wasn't a popular name. Not unknown, especially in Australia and the US... but not 'normal', not ... just some random name like Jane or

. The. Us, hat back in 1950-ish, the name Sharon wasn't as 'normalised' as it was.

6 months ago 0 0 0 0

... is that the lads misheard her name.

What she actually replied was "Charon".

6 months ago 6 0 2 0

(I'm playing catch-up with #AScareADay this year, so am going by memory of reading 3MU ages ago, but...)

As you mention, Sharon doesn't say much. IIRC, she doesn't, herself, actually say her name in the story.

So my pet theory as to 'why she's led them out here' is...

6 months ago 4 0 1 0

Ooh, where was that? We only have a couple of useful places in Falmouth, so if I'm venturing further afield it'd be good to have a destination to aim for!

6 months ago 0 0 0 0

Nice to have (I was a lucky boy that Christmas!), but TBH you're better off with their individual volumes: (a) squeezing all his stories into two volumes means the print is quite small, (b) there's an errata slip listing rather a lot of mistakes, and (c) they're too precious to take off the shelves!

6 months ago 1 0 0 0
Tartarus Press's two-volume complete Aickman. £70 at the time (1999); now... probably requires a second mortgage!

Tartarus Press's two-volume complete Aickman. £70 at the time (1999); now... probably requires a second mortgage!

Tartarus's hardback of Aickman's Cold Hand in Mine.

Tartarus's hardback of Aickman's Cold Hand in Mine.

Scribner's edition of Cold Hand in Mine with a fab Edward Gorey jacket.

Scribner's edition of Cold Hand in Mine with a fab Edward Gorey jacket.

Faber paperback of CHiM, with intro by Reece Sheersmith.

Faber paperback of CHiM, with intro by Reece Sheersmith.

Oh wow. And still available. Sixty quid isn't actually that bad for something so lovingly produced. Bound to increase in value too.

Sadly, as I already have these* I can't really justify it... 😟

* my library (spare bedroom) shelves are too buried to reach ATM ☹️

6 months ago 1 0 1 0

Also Aickman's The Swords. A story that manages to get creepier and more unsettling each time you read it.

6 months ago 1 0 1 0

To be honest – whisper it, but – I wish someone could persuade Jeremy Dyson to write-direct a few Ghost Stories for Christmas, rather than Mark Gatiss...

6 months ago 1 0 0 0
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The Cicerones (2002) Dailymotion video by Paul Lamphrey

Thank you for this!

And there is also a FilmFour short film of The Cicerones, written and directed by Jeremy Dyson and starring Mark Gatiss. Which means you're in good hands of course.

This has IMO at least two of the most unnerving moments ever on telly.
www.dailymotion.com/video/x7vyaki

6 months ago 2 0 1 0
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Sign the Petition Strip Michelle Mone of her peerage

Does what it says on the tin.

Personally, I think she should be stripped of her skin. (Have I been reading too much horror recently? 😮😁)
chng.it/ptzGBmRK6T

6 months ago 1 0 0 0
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"I hope Starmer wakes up tomorrow morning and feels ashamed about what he has done," says man who unveiled this poster the day Jo Cox was assassinated by a far-right terrorist.

6 months ago 2189 734 76 25
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#FishVarietyInASongOrMovie

The Blob

6 months ago 2 0 0 0
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#FishVarietyInASongOrMovie

Devil Ray Cry

6 months ago 2 0 0 0

#FishVarietyInASongOrMovie

Mackerel the Knife

6 months ago 4 0 0 0
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#FishVarietyInASongOrMovie

🎶

Oh...
I'm an amberjack and I'm okay
I swim all night and I swim all day...

🎶

6 months ago 8 0 0 0

Ha! Yes! I had forgotten that!

Well played, Sir, well played.

6 months ago 2 0 1 0

Terry Pratchett's Cohen the Barbarian nailed the 'substitooth' thing though. They're called din-chewers.

6 months ago 1 0 1 0
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Trump demands inquiry over UN 'triple sabotage' The US president called the incidents that included an escalator and teleprompter mishap

It was a quadruple sabotage. When the President of the United States was speaking, the room was filled with the sound of a racist convicted fraudster and proven sex offender ranting incoherent conspiracy theories.

INQUIRY NOW.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

6 months ago 412 70 24 2
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The ‘Scare a Day’ Challenge – October 2025 It’s almost October, which means it’s almost time for the #AScareADay challenge! One poem or scary short-story a day for a whole month. You can read along with us using the links below.…

Look what's up...

Are you ready for this year's #AScareADay challenge?

Read a scary story or poem a day for the whole of October. Curated by me!

Come see what we've got on the list this year!

romancingthegothic.com/2025/09/21/t...

7 months ago 21 17 3 5

... and now to find as many as possible as audiobooks. Can't beat being read a spooky story. Gather round the fire*, small glass of sherry**...

* loops available on YouTub,e I'm sure
** large glass of Rioja

6 months ago 1 0 1 0

Oh my. Some absolute corkers there!

6 months ago 1 0 0 0

Am I the only one thinking that if a Russian military plane violates another country's airspace, and refuses to respond, it should simply be shot down?

Putin is a playground bully. Treat him like one. In modern parlance: FAFO.

7 months ago 0 0 0 0