No one:

Duolingo: hey, it’s 1.34am. It’s time to learn Spanish.

I only ever buy self-help/counselling books 🫣.

Duolingo really overestimates how much I care about staying in the XP league tables. Does it need to notify me every day this week?

How I can tell I’m getting older:

Instead of sponsored ads being about alcohol or partying, it’s now Heated airers.

How I can definitely tell I’m getting older:

I’ve never been more excited and must purchased one.

No one:

Facebook Messenger: We’ve put you in a group chat with other people in the same community groups as you. That’s fine, right?!

The older I get, the more I love Ned Flanders. He is everything: kind, a good father and always sees the best in people.

I challenge you to think of a more
wholesome person.

Am I too empathetic?

No one:

Amazon: Your parcel will be delivered conveniently tomorrow to your house, or you can drive 20 miles each way to pick up your package so you can have your thing 90 minutes earlier.

Have a bit of a laugh in your life by calling this app “Blue-ski” (like Brewski). Top notch fun to be had.

Do you know what can get in the bin?

Apps which ask you to pay for the full service for a year before even being able to test the app out.

Absolutely no way mate I’m spending £80 on an Annual pass on an app I have no idea if it is good.