I once hung out with a bunch of Argentinians and all they drank was Budweiser

I had never witnessed the effects of American propaganda more noticeably than that day

Playing With Arms Wide Open by Creed on the day of my child’s birth

Playing My Sacrifice by Creed as my bride walks down the aisle at our wedding

Romanian deadlift and Bulgarian split squat implies the existence of Czechoslovakian bench press

The concept of bars = lyricism in rap is a psyop

Seeing so much Chinese humor on my feed lately is making me come to the realization that I’m not feeling Chinese, but that I’ve been built to be Chinese all these years

There’s a reason people enjoy French tips and it’s because it’s the closest to the actual look of a toe nail - everything else looks unnatural

Assuming you take care of them ofc

Ima be the one to say it… toes don’t need nail polish, they’re already perfect as is

Pspspspsps

People love to be like “hippies are bad people perceived as good people; punks are good people perceived as bad people”

In reality, they’re all bad people

My boss be so performative… showed her a social media video idea for the company and she dismissed it cause the audio mispronounced the word “Caribbean” as a joke and she didn’t want to offend anyone…

They really be like “omg I just can’t stand people putting all their focus on me and making the day about me, it’s just so hard when it’s about me… 👀”

Who is the cat?

People who hate on their own birthday are incredibly pick me

GOOD MORNING IF YOU’RE THICK
💖💖💖

I’m getting there!

Slowing down the car cause she just told me she never heard One by Metallica

Liberals attitudes towards (anti-)imperialism reminds me of conservatives and abortion

I’ve probably evened out since I weighed myself right after dinner, but I still got about 30+ lbs to go for my goal

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I was on verge of weighing 200lbs

Ladies, hold your panties, big boi summer is on its way 😎

Fuck US, gusanos and cynical liberals 🖕🏾🖕🏾

Wholeheartedly wish those involved in the Cuba aid mission safe travels and support in their journey to help the island that I share ancestry with and that the US government doesn’t attempt any fuck shit in the process

Not much said on the domino effect of not paying Pharrell to the start of WW3

“Show her a picture of 2 snails and caption ‘us’”

Bro, take her to a beautiful sunset and tell her you made a call ahead of time

She’ll eat that shit up

Scat burglars was right there…

Need these apps to stop suggesting people outside my designated range

I’d rather know I’m too lame for my own area than get caught up with a Mossad agent

Sub? To your YouTube? I bow to no machine

Can’t think of too many things as romantic as day drinking with your partner