Cartoon image of a chef cutting Shawarma with the words“unknown pleasures” underneath

You HAVE to give it up to whoever invented the candle. Like truly one of the top five “There HAS to be a better way!” people in history

roman soldier: we have to guard his tomb

other roman soldier: why lol

roman soldier: idk lmao

other roman soldier: want to get gelato instead?

roman soldier: i’ll drive

me in 2075: and then one day someone drew a human lady version of bowser from Mario and everyone online wanted to have sex with the drawing

grandson: i’m not real. none of this is real. let go. time to rest now

paul denton: telling a cashier that a bomb has been planted and everyone needs to evacuate out of the Circle K seems like a pretty mean spirited april fool's prank, JC.

jc denton, ransacking the candy shelves: what's april fool's

just hanging out in chat with the boys and typing "nominal" back and forth at each other

I remember one time when I was looking up on wikipedia the active ingredients from the antihistamines and other things on the chemist warehouse website there was one that did say 'yeah it's a hallucinogen but it's just unpleasant so nobody does it recreationally'

FRANCE: we're fancy
WORLD: ok
FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich is our national lunch
WORLD:
FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich with an egg is its wife

if you put me in a room with Hitler, Cinemasins, some other historical bad guy & a handgun with 2 bullets I'd definitely at least pistol whip Cinemasins

Every PS1 game is like "the hardware sucked shit but the genius programmers tricked it into playing games" and every N64 game is like "you could run crysis on this thing but no one actually knew what they were doing"

The Barista Haver has logged on

consquider the following

me on bluesky v me on twitter

The Computer, in general, used to be purple a lot more often. we have lost our way

M-1951 field jacket

I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt

thinking about making him a lieutenant

Panel from Spidey Super Stories #39 (1978) Mary Jane watches the television frowning with a clenched fist. On the TV a reporter holds a microphone and turns to see four women asleep on the floor. 'Meanwhile...' Reporter: Mastermind's SLEEP SODA made the marchers sleep. MJ thinks: 'Another PLOT to stop women.'

happy international women's day, detective

You know what I liked was when Biden had that awful dog that kept biting people

are they called the Washington Generals as in the military kind of general or is it in contrast to the specificity of the Globetrotters

Air hits different when it's conditioned

"The CIA conspired to make me less cool than I was when I was 25" is the most succinct Gen X manifesto I've ever heard

yeah you got it

we finally reached the end of this calendar event i accidentally made 12 years ago

Crow looking behind himself with a full vertical 180° head tilt cause he's a talented boy yes he is omg just look at him so good.

¿ʍɐƆ

This guy rules