i'm so sorry.

tim heidecker has done some incredible work on the satire front, and honestly? if they presented it as actual news, then trump would bury them in lawsuits. this is good stuff

love the ankle fringe

YESS

i would be the Brock Samson of scissoring Millennial nannies

I Played 'The Boys Are Back in Town' on a Bar Jukebox Until I Got Kicked Out The boys were back in town, but I was out of the bar, because they asked me to leave.

on the 50th anniversary of the release of The Boys Are Back in Town I'm morally obligated to share my favorite story of all time

god's perfect law baby

Alex Song-Xia looks distressed. text on screen: how would you describe the joy who lived festival? Euphoria. Exciting. inviting. home.

Two hot people are in a play and in love. text on screen: how would you describe the joy who lived festival? Warm happy space fun amazing times best hottest people ever.

You can still watch all the shows from our trans comedy festival, they are filmed real good-like, and also we need a little money so we'd love for you to donate to get the playlist link!

secure.givelively.org/donate/trans...

Incredible sequel. Edge of my seat!

a burly bandit sneaks quietly behind a small bespectacled nerd, cackling to himself "jeez louise, some marks make it too easy! hehe" The bandit's hand inches towards the back pocket of the nerd, the poindexter's wallet sticking out precariously. "Like grabbin' fresh shrimp on a hot buffet," the bandit gloats. Suddenly with a "CHOMP" sound, the bandit's hand is stuck inside the nerd's ass all the way up to the elbow. The bandit cries out in pain "release me from your jaws, you hound of hell!" The nerd, grinning and clenching his fists says "oh how easily, how innocently the fly does enter the spider's web!"

Gripping Tales of True Crime

a euphemism for faulty groundwater plumbing!

love NOLA

hell yes

Come on then, and remove him.

astronaut meme with astronaut in front saying “wait it’s absolutely caked up?” and astronaut behind holding gun saying “always has been,” on the left is the moon with its plump juicy glutes

Artemis II peaking the backside today

One Single Beaver

he thinks it's not kosher!

I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.

Here’s food for thought, had Ahab time to think; but Ahab never thinks; he only feels, feels, feels

slept in my eagles shirt and now they won't let me leave the hotel, wtf? i'm checked out and everything

[yelling over club music] I said death is the loss of future love

A podcast host says "today on the pod, we have Ted from I have no mouth and I must scream." The host asks Ted, a gelatinous blob "how ya doin, Ted" Ted quivers in pain. The host looks attentive. Ted quivers in pain.

post a non religious picture you think of as holy

💯💯💯

potentially milkable and everything!

tell him how i thanked you (in-person!) for the gaultier perfume bottle 🏆

my pumpkins? smashing.

immortality is but ubiquity in time

SHEIL-PENDOUS✨

I heard there was
a secret cord
that David kept
in his cable hoard
but he can never find it
when he needs it