This self dissappointment has to transform into a solution. I have to find a way to make it easier again. I cant keep staying this way, i miss everyone alot

Sometimes i genuinely dont believe i deserve any of the good people around me if i cant even articulate myself around these cherished connections and reach back for them properly. especially when they look forward to me, espefially when they already have it in their hearts to even THINK of me

I want to speak with people, i want to respond back and share my thoughts and feelings but im still not out of that stunted state and feeling like every thought i accumulate immeidately goes past an automatic shredder before i even manage to open my mouth

Angry at myself that its been so hard to speak lately...

Back in the old days of DeviantART, I'd dedicate a day to comment on new artists I found. Finding new faves, giving thoughtful insight on works I enjoyed, encouraging others.

The current artist website landscape doesn't feel as welcoming for that, and I'm really missing it.

Art by Rodney Matthews ‘The Rainbow Room’ (1993)

Digital drawing of Sunny sitting halfway out his office window. His arms are folded over one knee, face obscured as he looks out at the sun setting against the neighborhood roof tops. There is a sense of longing.

#repostyourart day 21 - cloud

those covid lockdown days felt never-ending, yet a sliver of hope remained

It went through!! I finished it way back then but forgot to tag u in the sneak peak... 😖 I have to get the scanner going so i can show you the full art!!!! Ill return to you! bsky.app/profile/cdro...

-i didnt manage to while i was ill ;;
Everyones comms are done, i just need to scan 'em for snazzier pictures and hopefully open for more to cover all the expenses it took to keep me stable..

Bah, Im tired.. it took alot, but going through this again gave me alot to think about, too. Its tough to find the words to describe everything that i feel, so as always, i'll let my art be the outlet for that. For now, i just want to let folk know im back, and ill tend to what-

Feeling the consequences of my numbing sessions. I would scoff at myself, bitterly, ironically- but, maybe internal quiet is what i need, as much as i fear it overstaying its welcome. Alright, i guess, just dont dissipate into the wind

throwing my last tears in the rain... heres for a better week starting now /orz

˗ˏ💙 ❯❯❯ What's in the Middle ? 💔ˎˊ˗

memory

Warm colored digital drawing of Lumé laying peacefully in a field of flowers, wind blowing through the grass.

#repostyourart day 2 - bloom🌺

i want to do more fun, colorful landscapes like this <3 i started one in january but haven't gotten to finish it

(Hard to speak today... Working and putting out art but have so little energy to actually- move my mind to assemble words TT I feel everyone's hype and love and im tenderly wagging my big dumb wolf tail at you all... I hope tomorrow will be easier, I wanna talk & respond back so much)

family photo

🐺🫂

Gettin art ready today 🧎‍♂️

(🦓) ...!!!

but the world keeps moving moving moving and if i dont move with it ill lose so much more. so, cmon

cant talk about it, cant find the energy to be more than what this whole mess reduces me into, cant reach out for comfort, rinse and survive mode

The mood for this past month alone,,, ,

goop

ok one more lmao

*fully restores your HP as you scroll past*

i tried a tiny watercolor kit ^^

scribble of a bat furry wearing a large tshirt that reads "i <3 niche furryporn!!! handcrafted adult artwork is a valid way of exploring the broad spectrum of sexual expression in a controlled environmemt all while supporting indie artists"

u cant go out dressed like that man