A tearjerker is a dude who cries while they masturbate.

When did Elon Musk become president?

American exceptionalism but we’re exceptionally dumb.

Dave Matthews Band Night 1 of 3. Should be a fun night.

Send these two to Ohio ASAP.

President RapesALot McFucksHisDaughter was at the Garden last night for UFC along with his rogue’s gallery of villains: RFK Jr., Tulsi Gabbard, Mike Johnson, Elon Musk, and his two dipshit sons, plus Joe Rogan, Kid Rock, and Dana White. What an elite group of idiots.

Metal shows and blood sports are the only events where there are longer lines for the men’s rooms than the women’s.

My 10 favorite people currently living:

- Keith Richards
- Bruce Springsteen
- Cyndi Lauper
- Weird Al
- Eddie Vedder
- Bernie Sanders
- Bob Weir
- John Mayer
- Stevie Wonder
- Tina Fey

Me and my chins on the ferry, cruising towards a 16 hour shift. Word is a certain president will be there. I have a 10:30 am shift tomorrow morning.
Pray for me.

Inside me are two wolves.

View from 207-08 last night. Great game. That last shot almost made me believe in God.

Is this thing on?