"We know that Jesus wasn't a socialist because he could actually feed people" is an all-time telling on yourself line.

We met in 6th Grade and did not get along for nearly 10 years, so she's pretty much inoculated against all of my foolishness.

I collect them like bottle caps, John. We're on year 33 of marriage, and for some reason she's still hanging out with me.

Oh, no. I'm sorry for your not-loss.

CJ's such a great dude. He was beloved in Portland.

two men are walking across a wooden bridge in the woods ALT: two men are walking across a wooden bridge in the woods

"lost"

I ALREADY KNOW JOHN

You guys, we've lost Alan Dershowitz. I'm so proud of us.

Shucks. She's the saint. I'm def not.

I agree.

a man is covering his face with his hand while talking to a woman in a room . ALT: a man is covering his face with his hand while talking to a woman in a room .

Saying goodbye to my wife the hospice social worker on her way to work this morning, "Have fun."

PERSON WOMAN MAN CAMERA TV

I like him.

Ah, see, but that plays right into the standard issue rightwing Catch-22. “You chose to have kids,” they love to say. Never mind they define women by how many kids they spit out and make women’s reproductive healthcare as inaccessible as possible….

a man is sitting on a couch with a bowl of popcorn . ALT: a man is sitting on a couch with a bowl of popcorn .

All these weird mf’ers would have peaked at a school board position, if Barack Obama had stayed a senator.

a man with a beard is looking at a screen with the words it 's the things we love most ALT: a man with a beard is looking at a screen with the words it 's the things we love most

Do it for love of the game, Nicole. Also, for spite.

Yeah, in my over 20 years of service resignations haven’t generally happen on Mondays effective immediately. She got shitcanned.

Alpha sigma high value silverbacks call you gorl.

I love this for him.

Varying degrees of self awareness...
Pizza cake comics

Kash Patel swigging a beer in the men's US National Hockey Team locker room after flying to Italy aboard a US government private jet where he reportedly had no official reason to be there.

I mean, good luck. My understanding is that for a libel case to force a journalist to reveal their sources, Patel would first have to produce compelling evidence that he *isn't* an impulsive and irresponsible drunk who has been misappropriating public funds and resources for his personal use.

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

two men are standing next to each other in a jewelry store . ALT: two men are standing next to each other in a jewelry store .

Okay, but I could prolly get more than that from a serious buyer.

Patel firing in two weeks.

A black cow who is sick of John's bull.

Aw, man Jose. Don't let peer pressure push you into this feet thing. Say no to toes, Jose.

a man with a mustache in front of a ted lasso sign ALT: a man with a mustache in front of a ted lasso sign

Aw, I'm about to do my third rewatch in anticipation of the new season coming up.

Is this racks on racks on racks.

This is way better than the couple of songs he had on the Phantom Liberty soundtrack. I would listen to this.