Who is going to dom Alexa tonight, we ask, as we lay in bed and one of us orders her to shut the lights off.

They’re coming for Prep next.

Turns out—shocking—RFK Jr believes they cause HIV soooo they’re now off the shelves etc

The first time I ever wished I took a science lab class in high school is the same day poppers were banned in the US

First couple’s therapy session:

Me: I look at EVERYTHING he sends me on Instagram and he doesn’t look at ANYTHING I send him.

Only have as many pets as you have hands.

Learning the hard way over here that IKEA product names, no matter how well known, don’t work in NYT games.

Might delete. Gotta be honest.

It’s cute that someone joined Blue Sky to create a fake profile of me over on Twitter using photos from here. What is wrong with people?

Failure to take responsibility for himself being shitty, gaslighting you into thinking you are. Probably not his first instance of devaluing you—but hopefully his last!!! ❤️

Sounds like a narcissist!

Maybe Trump meant he’d reduce the cost of the eggs in our ovaries.

Picking what stores I can shop in after last week is roughly like what men I can still watch and listen to after #metoo

26 min shoulders chest back day down and 20 min of spin

Can I buy EVERYTHING in Costco? Is any other retailer keeping DEI initiatives????

Gavin Newsome and Trump are both 6’3”…yet one of them is about 3” taller than the other.

Awwww

It’s the lip zit

6.2 lbs down, 31 min of lower body weight lifting down and 20 min of spin now

Hell yeah!!!

Thanks, friend! How is the new year treating your workouts?

4.8 lbs down into the New Year. Chest/back/shoulders then some spinning

I am great at a lot of things. The NYT crossword puzzle is not one of them.

If you didn’t cry, the nose hair you wanted to pluck is not out.

30 min biceps/triceps/glutes/inner thighs done…30 min spin commences.

absolute worst guy you know is currently telling his friends he’s gonna “try his hand at standup comedy”

I want to try all the New York Times Cooking recipes but finding the ingredients used in these things must require defeating the final boss in one special bodega in NY with a cheat code.

People that stop drinking not because they’re an alcoholic but because they’re better than you er it’s better for you