I’ve got an entire Telltale album. Every one a winner.

Kanye West UK ban

From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

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Meet Mackenzie Bly (not his real name; see back cover).
I wanted to write something purely funny, but fell in love with my lead character along the way.
It's out in August, but the lovely proofs, with cover by Jim Kay, have just arrived.
Repost before tomorrow (Sun) evening, and I'll pick a winner.

Couple from Goole believe ghosts of much-missed parents visit their house Jeremy says he has filmed evidence his father-in-law visits in spirit form

Meanwhile in Goole www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-ea...

Every streaming service known to man and we’re watching Monkey.

Can barely breathe on this bus for the Tweed

Would you like a space to write, with sea views? Dan Thompson Studio are offering a desk at Marine Studios to a writer. You'll have your own desk, 24 hour access, seven days a week. Views over Main Sands, the studio is a five minute walk from the station, Turner Contemporary, and the Old Town.

On this day, 2 years ago. I sat in bed and said to myself, 'Why haven't you finally made that compilation of Jim McDonald from Coronation Street, absolutely battering people to Motörhead? So I did.'

Enjoy! It will forever be my greatest contribution to society.

Realised that Marty Supreme is just a strangely silly superficial rip off of Inside Llewyn Davis.

What is up with everyone suddenly saying “guard rails”? Where’s it come from and how did we manage before.

Joanna Ross obituary Other lives: Teacher honoured for her dedication to children with special educational needs and their families

www.theguardian.com/education/20... A wonderful tribute to a brilliant woman.

I honestly thought it was one of the most accurate portraits of loss and grieving I’ve ever seen. And it’s entirely hilarious.

Imagine a family that all had the face of Mike Yarwood. Terrifying isn't it? The Mike Yarwood Family Joke Book.

2026 shows are on sale now. Dublin, Cork, Wexford, Melbourne, Sydney, Ratoath - loads more. phlaimeaux.tumblr.com/shows

Neil Innes - born this day 1944

[Scene is a MEDIEVAL PLAGUE PIT with all the bodies inside it. On the edge of it is a young peasant woman, in a sack cloth dress, covered in boils. She is lounging glamorously next to the pit. Her boyfriend is standing a few feet away, photographing her with an anachronistic mobile phone] GIRL: OK so I'll sit here... With my hair like this… Rubbing my cyst with the corpse's hand. [She produces a whithered severed hand and starts rubbing it on her face.] [We are treated to a revolting close up of her rubbing the severed hand on her disgusting massive cyst.] [Her boyfriend takes a photo of her.] SNAP GIRL: OK, now write this: "Hanging out at the burial pit, rubbing my sebaceous cyst with a severed corpse hand from #BurtsGraverobbers…” And then: #selfcare, #metime, #BurtsGraverobbers… ... nails emoji, heart emoji, cyst emoji. BOYFRIEND: Um... Should we really be promoting this? I mean… does rubbing a corpse's hand on a cyst actually work? GIRL: Look, Burt's done research, OK? And he's paying us four groats. BOYFRIEND: Hmm. [Boyfriend dutifully taps out the post on his phone] TAP TAP TAP BOYFRIEND: Cyst emoji? GIRL: Just use a fried egg. [Ends]

Joan’s right

All my comics have happy endings!

Alastair Sim - born this day 1900

Went to see One Battle after Another. Strong written-by-a-teenage-boy vibes.

Were you aware that Cheadle crematorium holds the ashes of Stanley Kershaw, patenter of the Kershaw Double Gusset? To my mind, a far bigger boon than communism.

'Schmigadoon' is heading to Broadway, sets 2026 opening (exclusive) 'Schmigadoon,' a stage musical based on the Apple TV+ series of the same name, is heading to Broadway in 2026.

Sometimes your wildest dreams come true. Broadway, here we come! Can't wait for you all to see it! ❤️
ew.com/schmigadoon-...

Fabulous!! But when are you coming to London?

[Scene is a 1960s suburban sitting room, with a grand piano in it. The religious songwriter ESTELLE WHITE is sat at the piano, with a rotary phone sat on top of the lid. She is on the phone to her music publisher, someone I've made up called JERRY] 1 ESTELLE WHITE: OK Jerry I’ve got another banger for you 2 ESTELLE WHITE: Listen to this! [She slams the receiver on the top of the piano]. 3 ESTELLE WHITE [hammering on the piano]: AUTUMN DAYS WHEN THE GRASS IS JEWELLED AND THE SILK INSIDE A CHESTNUT SHELL! JET PLANES MEETING IN THE AIR TO BE REFUELLED, ALL THESE - JERRY [voice from the phone handset]: Eh? 4 JERRY: What was that last bit, Estelle? ESTELLE WHITE: “Jet planes meeting in the air to be refuelled”… 5 JERRY: Is that a thing you often see in autumn? ESTELLE WHITE [Smoking from a long cigarette holder]: All the time, Jerry. Aaaaall the time.... 6 JERRY: Nothing to do with it being the only thing that rhymes with ‘jewelled’? ESTELLE WHITE: No! 7 ESTELLE WHITE: It’s one of the high-speed, high-altitude feats of military aviation one often sees in autumn time. 8 JERRY: What about leaves and squirrels and - ESTELLE WHITE: Now listen, Jerry. 9 ESTELLE WHITE: Do you want a crap hymn about conkers… 10 ESTELLE WHITE: Or do you want an all-time earworm banger that everyone who hears it will sing in their heads, every single time they see a fallen leaf, until the day they die? 11 JERRY: OK… sorry… carry on… 12 ESTELLE WHITE: FROS-TY WINDOWS ON HARR-IER JUMPJETS AND THE SMELL OF NUCLEAR SUB-MAR-INES… JERRY: How about acorns? [ends]

Autumn days when the grass is jewelled

Highlight of the new Spinal Tap film: Nigel Tufnell in a Sooty jumper

Dreamt that I invented Spit the Dog. It was like Yesterday but instead of the world forgetting The Beatles, they had forgotten Bob Carolgees

Hands down one of *the* greatest albums. Still listen to it regularly and I dreamed of being the cover girl wandering chicly around a parade ground.

This whole @rushanaraalibgs.bsky.social story is so bizarre to me. She was a terrific MP for my family and we wouldn’t have found a home for our disabled daughter without her help. I can’t believe she’s suddenly a baddie.

Heretic is fun