ew why is it my birthday today

every AI ad is like

“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”

and then the phone is like

“sandwich”

and the guy is like

“wow”

MY CHILDHOOD

i be commenting on fanfic thats like 10 years old idec

when my brother turned 14 i wrote "you're becoming a fine young man" like an elderly woman

my mum is the most beautiful lady in the world

there were a bunch of snails in the way of where i was taking my bins to the curb so i put all of them together like a lil snail party, when i came back one of them was slimin all over the others shell

i think i was just unintentionally a wingman to two snails

pralien

she looks like a lil alien

i pet them and they were very happy

had a dream i cracked open a geode and two bunnies hopped out

everyone be quiet my show is on

google ai thinks its sooo smart. "no, blahblah does not-" I WASN'T ASKING A QUESTION I WAS SEARCHING

auntie virus alternatively

webcore drag queen named annie-virus

ooo pretty colours

"My name is Greta Thunberg and I am from Sweden. If you see this video, we have been intercepted and kidnapped in international waters by the Israeli occupational forces, or forces that support Israel."

that's me in the chip aisle
that's me with the pop corn
making snack decision

how did "will not" become "won't". weird ass contraction

i cannot stop thinking about curly-haired sabrina carpenter she's like the cutest brain parasite ever

my parents usually watch kdrama at night, meaning i'm used to the sound of muffled korean, so just now when i heard a very english man speak very clear english my brain was like "WHUH ❓❗"

cookie is meowing a bunch and i can hear my dad very seriously and sincerely saying things like "is that so? surely you're exaggerating" in response

happy pride moth

so funny when ads are completely unrelated to the product they are meant to be advertising. what does grandma driving a monster truck have to do with doritos.

i'm psychic in the sense that somehow i can always tell when neko atsume is about to give me a sashimi boat instead of a ritzy bits can when i complete the daily passwords list

she is

her name is praline omg im exploding

tt likes being pet by my dad more than he likes pets from me because dad has bigger heavier hands >:(

omg hi babey