"Oh, you play keyboards?" FUCK NO, I play SYNTHESIZERS, do i look like one of the dudes from Dire Straits with a name nobody bothered to learn?

he loves to lie

he’s never seen us play before — ask if he would ever want to sit in.

his demeanor shifts like he’s offended. starts asking “do u even get paid?” (we do) and “i bet yall dont play anything with stank” (we stink). doesn’t play with amateurs.

LMAO

i leave. been thinking about it since.

they’re coming to save us

everyone please tell me i’m brave for getting my blood drawn today

go birds

they should retroactively award lil wayne a grammy

Nuff said 😮‍💨

grace goes absolutely crazy with it

maybe the hardest record cover of all time

they scooped

australian guy who’s gf has a gun instead of a pussy:

aw crikey me dicks been blown off

every skeet comes straight from me heart

fit goes insane

gotta go fast if u want to. it’s very possible to do.

Combustion V.4, by SparX megaZine 22 track album

hey kids, ya like skramz?

i’m doing fine

every morning i wake up, chew up 2 cups of unground coffee beans, and watch this video.

imagine if this nerd broke your back

man in front of me at the gas station walked up to the counter and said “i need every pack of Pall Mall 100s you got in this motherfucker”

a person sitting in front of three computer monitors with wnr written on the screens ALT: a person sitting in front of three computer monitors with wnr written on the screens

me convincing the ai doctor to prescribe me promethazine

shout out @daisygoldmi.bsky.social

i’m taking it personally that no one liked this post.

1 hour comedy special but every punchline is about getting your dick blown off

trying to find where the off switch is on my custard machine but i just keep ramping up the power. theres custard everywhere. those teletubbies are frauds for selling me a bogus device. tiny winky, la la, dipsy, and po are on death watch for what they did to my beautiful carpet

all pomp no circumstance

in the kitchen

despite it all, i will roll a blunt,,

all 6 of my smoke detectors died at once and the noise drove me into such a panic that i accidently broke all 6 before i could figure out how to work the battery latch….