I was watching a detective show last night, and after the third time someone said "cadaver dogs" my subconscious added, "do-doo de doo-doo", and now I can never watch a crime show again.

...broke my heart, now I'm aching for you. 😁

But what if I want to continue my tube journey by *unreasonable* means, like flying carpet or mechanical horse, eh, TFL?

Wanna dance to the best 90s grunge and alternative, from Nirvana to Hole, Smashing Pumpkins to Placebo, and of course Alice in Chains?

Bruise Violet at The Albany W1W 19 Sept, London UK

19 Sept, 9pm-2am, £10 door.

#90sclub #alternativeclub #londonclub #grungeclub #londonclubnight

Oh look, it's Rome Final Boss...

The cup of coffee next to mine at Black Sheep this morning had the name "Torquil" on it. I didn't realize anyone was actually called that in real life (inasmuch as the City has any relation to real life).

TV show pitch: Last of the Sumer Wine. Three annoyingly roguish old blokes accidentally summon Ereshkigal via an inexplicably wheeled bathtub. She unleashes darkness, misery and gloom on West Yorkshire. No one notices.

@netflix.com production meeting: "Ed Gein, but make him sexy and brooding!"

Strong Zoolander vibe coming off these posters...

"I need a guy who can play a no-nonsense cop with balls of hard, cold steel... get me Al Pachinko!"

Guess the groovy train has been cancelled...

Best explanation of blockchain I've ever seen...

I've noticed lately that there's one popular aftershave that smells of digestive biscuits, and another reminiscent of those weird freshening balls my mum used to chuck in the Hoover.

Definitely didn't have "80s coffee morning" as the vibe in men's fragrances for 2025.

The Police once tried to find out what I knew about Post Office whistleblower Richard Roll.

But I told them I was never gonna give him up.

Whenever I read about the publisher Penguin Michael Joseph.I always subconsciously parse that as a penguin named Michael Joseph.

Do you think he realises...?

Gmail's tendency to abbreviate with a full stop is giving Lord Steel a sort of Shinobi final boss energy here...

How come real-life motorcades never include three guys on dirt bikes with katanas?

Not feeling the new Weekend at Bernie's remake at all...

New Norse animal spirit of Monday mornings just dropped...

#crow #corvid #idontlikemondays

Did anyone order Mulder and Scully from Temu...?

Presumably Netflix retains the rights to any kids that come out of this...

I wanted to learn how to defend myself using only 60s Italian lounge music, but I can't find anywhere in London that can teach me Tae-Quando-Quando-Quando.

It may seem like an innocuous and jolly word by today's standards, but a "flibbertigibbet" was actually a 17th century gallows used to execute people convicted of being overly excitable.

Or something.

Someone in our building has started learning the Koto, which means I'm now sitting outside in the evening sunshine with a sense of inner peace and harmony, but also a slight fear I'm going to be attacked by ninjas.

Everyone else's inventors: "We called this weapon the Hellbomber, to inspire fear."

British inventors: "We called this weapon the Wanking Cyril. Because we were drunk. And it looks like Cyril."

Ooh, someone got swiped right while they were at work today...

#datenight #swiperight #mintyfresh

Naturally. I try to go through DICE if I can. They often seem to have tickets for shows that are also being repped by TM or AXS.

Try buying a ticket for something at the O2 Arena - it seems to be pot luck whether your ticket will show up in the Ticketmaster app, the O2 app, the other Ticketmaster app, or the Ticketmaster at the O2 app. I miss when they just emailed you a PDF.

Someone in Whitehall needs to mention to Keir Starmer that he tweets in the voice of Doctor Doom...

Isn't there a single PR flack in Whitehall brave enough to tell him he tweets like Doctor Doom?