Finally, a credit card for men that pee sitting down

(Narrator voice) She was the kind of broad you’d have sex with your penis with

I just took a piss a few days ago so this weird feeling near my penis must be something else

My new science fiction novel dare to ask: what if a robot could suck you off from behind

A shaft in the hand is worth 2 on the balls or whatever that expression is

Do the way my balls peek out the bottom of my shorts make me look untested in battle?

Hey do you wanna be my squirtuationship

Sitting on my dick for a while and then jacking off so it feels like giving someone else a handjob

Just won LinkedIn’s Most Sexual Poster of the Year award

I think there’s some type of creature living in my vas deferens

Hey man sorry I missed your wedding my pants got caught in an escalator and ripped them clean off my body in the middle of a very busy store and everyone saw my fucked up butt cheeks

Hey man just so you know when we shook hands earlier I could tell from your grip that your prostate is completely fucked

Studying extra hard so I get an A on my prostate exam

Getting a bbl (Brazilian ball lift)

Most people find it unsettling when I mimic human laughter

(During sex when the other guy cums) wait that happened to me once too

Experts are saying that “Porn 2” is closer than we think

Hey so I still think about DJ Cigarettes on s regular basis

(After busting from one stroke) pretty cool right?

He’s your son! Of course you want to make sure he’s happy

That happened to me!

Per my last cum tribute

Asking the guy at the next urinal to hold hands and say grace before we start

I scanned my balls at the CVS self checkout any they came up as $7.99

In bed rubbing my butt and thinking about outer space

Choosing who to vote for based off of who most recently fell out of a coconut tree

How… does this person thing politics work?

Parking in the handicapped spot because I got blue balls

Doctor doctor gimme the news I got a bad case of having gay sex with dudes

Hey man wanna come over and chill? I’m hanging out with an alien. I got him super high and we’re listening to experimental jazz. I keep snapping my fingers off beat and I think he’s having a panic attack lol