google search has fucked things up so badly that every caprese sandwich recipe you find calls for arugula: something must be done. people need to lose their jobs.

if i had a kitchen and butchers block table like this you would never see me on the internet again

i swear i’m not just online sometimes i’m on your TV!

absolutely grayed up. on my father time shit.

good evening we are pushing back against the horrors

the true argument for french cooking being the classical standard is you get to drink half a bottle of the cooking wine

if you are using shower gel you’re missing out on one of the greatest luxuries of life; scrubbing yourself clean of sin with a brick of salt soap. an all time material pleasure.

double knee for the working men who kneel on the ground at night and pray that a steady hand and love of wonder will save their soul

they need to invent a feeling that isn’t pining!

i love to cook drunk. i love to wrestle with the food. fuck you carrots i have a knife and a $10 chianti. what do you have?! little nubs for heads. i weep in front of the oven. please hit 375 i can’t even Sylvia Plath myself in here let alone sheet pan bake.

when arranging a date at the bar you should get there early and sit at the farthest corner barstool facing the window. When your date arrives you should wave your arms like an air traffic controller and yell “over here” oh and you should also have abs.

but if i’m reading sally rooney and you’re reading sally rooney who’s living a life of realistic intimacy?!?

struggling to find your man a gift this holiday? get him a sense of purpose. Surely every man would like a sense of purpose.

i dressed like this in high school and they named a katy perry song after me

i think handjobs are underrated they are the ringer of the sport

bluesky kind of feels right now like how Nextdoor did right before someone posts a thread about how they think their dog walker is stealing from them

i don’t trust any of you

i’m sorry but i’m not sure i can buy into the concept of a “nice” website my people are jewish and roman catholic

the horrors lookalike contest in my head tonight

no offense but this site is absolutely filled with posts like this

its so nice to enjoy a meal to yourself just exist in your own presence and watch the world go by

need to be included in the italian bluesky starter package or i’ll die

how much protein in a cigarette

next week we will find out if these look hot or like i sell cocaine in Texas clubs

my partner just called me an introverted slut?!?

changing the car oil is pilates for men

they should let me fight a Miata

we just witnessed the death of civilization

drought and forest fire in NYC during November now i can really start dressing

someone at the dog park said “cigarette, boy?” and i looked