One thing marriage has taught me is I make one hell of a husband

Hahahahhaha

Me, a person who loves coffee cake. Also me, a person who hates cinnamon rolls.

*me, a autoimmune girlie*

What’s your drug of choice?

-Prednisone

What if your favorite Hollywood actor was in the files what would you do?!

Sean Astin would neverrrrrr

BREAKING: Trump vows to invade Norway and take ALL of the Nobel Peace Prizes.

me paying $30 in gas to buy imported things that have been hit with tariffs bc joe rogan is learning about politics at age 58

Hahahahaha no

Sometimes I do be buying grillo pickles to eat all the garlic bits

Surprise surprise I moved again and I’m back in the NE. We are getting another storm and everyone ran out for groceries and I ran out for New Haven pizza

People who refuse to let ramp traffic merge - why are you in the right lane?

On social media, you have to be funny all the time or nobody will love you, just like in real life.

Does this place have dm rooms yet?

I forgot this app existed. Hi!

I can’t waittttt

Honestly, these last few years have kicked my ass and I’ve been hanging on by a thread. The only thing getting me through is repeating “it’s not perfect but it’s better than before” repeatedly all day - every day.

All I want out of science is a strawberry that's the size of an apple

Is that a uncrustable in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

My kid asking for Mac and cheese every day. Me making Mac and cheese every day bc I also want Mac and cheese every day.

The only thing I ever want is onigiri

💁‍♀️🩷💅

When someone suggests Halloween is for kids

Sometimes you just need to eat bread and butter pickles straight outta the jar

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here cropping out my giant forehead in all my selfies

I think laying in a puppy puddle would cure me

Autism existed before Tylenol’s creation. I know crazy hard pill to swallow (all puns intended) thanks for coming to me Ted talk

How am I supposed to diet when everything requires me to eat my feelings

We’re all fucked.

You’re not special.