"I was ABSOLUTELY told that the Democrats would be bringing knives to the gun fight. What the fuck are they doing bringing guns?" --a whole lot of Republicans looking at the results from Virginia right now

I can't stop watching this.

When they said "AI will increase productivity" I didn't realize they meant "AI code will crash the social media networks on which I procrastinate, forcing me to actually do my job"

Perfection! 😂

I love how half his confessionals are just about much smarter Cirie is than him. #Survivor #Survivor50

a woman is laughing with her arms in the air while standing in front of a door . Alt: a woman is laughing with her arms in the air while standing in front of a door .

Whole skyline tonight. #Survivor50

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BYE COACH BYE CHRISSY!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #survivor50

Thank you Cirie for getting some sense back on this beach! #Survivor50

Banner parent company to buy Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, staving off its closure The Venetoulis Institute will acquire the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, converting it to a nonprofit to prevent the historic paper’s closure.

BREAKING: Banner parent company to buy Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, staving off newspaper’s closure

This was so my childhood.

more seriously congrats to the hungarian people for kicking that asshole out

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

I hate it here. I just want to wipe that smug ass look off Jonathan's face. #Survivor50

I can't get my hopes up too much. 🤞 #Survivor50

How can they let these idiotic two drive this vote?!?! 🤬 #Survivor50

a woman is laying in a hammock with her eyes closed . she is wearing a headband and a green shirt . Alt: Queen Cirie in her hammock.

I just love watching that woman work. #Survivor50

Evergreen skeet.

The people are with you, coach.

👱‍♂️

I had to stop buying these. They're so delicious and addictive!

A lot of great signs on day 1:

1) Trevor Rogers is still Trevor Rogers
2) Coby Mayo played a good third base
3) Blaze was a good offseason pickup
4) Adley had 2 hits (1 was a double)
5) Wells and Helsley successfully shut the door
6) Cowser made valuable contact on an RBI

Win #1 in the books!

an orioles mascot holds an orange flag in his hand Alt: The Orioles Bird running across the infield with an O's flag.

O's win! #Orioles #Birdland #OpeningDay

My milkmen? Dead.

Share a green character for 🍀or else the rest if the year you'll have terrible luck.

Nooo, it was supposed to be Stephenie!! #Survivor50

I am here for the duo of Queen Cirie and Financial Analyst Emily Flippen. Let's make this happen! #Survivor50

I like to think Dolly is who the Effin' Birds "I am a goddamn delight" was created for. A woman who uses her vast, self-made wealth to lift others up. She is a true national treasure.

With every vote they reveal, I become more and more convinced that Jeff fully ignored the actual votes and just did whatever he wanted anyway. #Survivor50

I'm sure they'd prefer to celebrate with someone who actually supports and celebrates women's sports too! Thank you for all you've done for the athletes.

Alysa Liu wins the Olympic gold medal for the United States YouTube video by Olympics

I urge you to stop what you're doing and watch Alysa Liu's free skate from yesterday. I have never seen anything like this. I understand why sports writers are born now. I have never seen anyone as free from the burdens of this world as this pierced Oakland girl spinning to Donna Summers.