A happy-looking red fox walking down a suburban street

This jaunty fellow just trotting down the street, not a care in the world

ChocolateAppreciator: wonka lowkey fell off.. slugworth the new goat.
WonkaFan1488: did a fucking oompa loompa write this

A VCR never sold my private info to a nazi

At its best, poetry is a stronger weapon than even the sharpest blade. A well placed word could cut easily through a smallminded creature like a frog. Or poetry could smash a frog like a big book. Especially my new collection, that has a bread knife sticking out between the pages, for killing frogs.

Chinese humanoid robots prepare for second-ever half marathon in Beijing YouTube video by NBC News

getting knocked down and run over repeatedly by 32 autonomous sprintbots as I stop to grab a small paper cup filled with warm gatorade

Kids are calling everything boat these days. Want to be cool? If you see a sexy outfit just say “that’s boat”

President Platner accidentally nukes Guatemala: “I’m still learning”

*Me waiting for the pollster to give Deinonychus as an option*

Tech Allbirds announces stunning pivot from shoes to AI, stock explodes 175% Published Wed, Apr 15 20269:25 AM EDTUpdated 1 Min Ago thumbnail Lola Murti @in/lolamurti/ @lolavkm Share Share Article via Facebook Share Article via Twitter Share Article via LinkedIn Share Article via Email Allbirds made a surprising announcement Wednesday that it is pivoting to artificial intelligence. Shares of the company were up as much as 200% pre-market.

Everything is fucking dumb all the time now

They’re called Generation X, because they do their banking on X, the everything app.

Everyone here is overly familiar with the Nazi bar analogy. If 8 people at the bar are "doing fine" and 2 people are destitute and suffering then you live in a society of destitution and suffering.

Sometimes things are so tantamount to each other you just have to say “damn that’s tantamount”

heartwarming video of astronaut Christina Koch greeting her dog for the first time after returning from space. the pup can be seen snarling, back arched, before scampering to its word buttons and pressing "IMPOSTOR" repeatedly, then "FALSE. SKIN. FALSE. SKIN." several times

a screenshot of the "New Bestsellers" list from Substack, with Andrew Tate in the #1 position

Hey, look at Substack promoting Andrew Tate as the #1 new bestseller. The company's amoral leadership & backers will platform anyone, even ludicrously toxic rapists & human traffickers.

Winning the Revolutionary War was a mistake.

For decades, birthday party clowns folded balloons and played games. John Wayne Gacy is taking a different approach.

I refuse to believe there’s a real TV show called “the miniature wife”, every time I see the ad I think I’m having a stroke and/or 30 Rock flashback

No problem with number 1.

I’d *prefer* 2.

I’m not religious, so I’m indifferent on 4.

He may have me on 3, because it could mean living next to a bigoted asshole like Dale Partidge.

For sale: baby jetpack. Worn once

Merrick Garland turns on the news, hears the president he refused to jail promise that a "whole civilization will die tonight," and thinks "golly, I hope someone will do something about that."

He finishes his toast, then checks the availability of pickleball courts.

Me (during my first day with the French National Guard): “why are they all singing? And why does the small boy have a Cockney accent?”

Great more weird AI porn on the feed

Finally came clean and told my wife that it was my idea to destroy the moon

A lot of us in USA would be well served to recall that when we look back on that era we don't call it Germany With Some Nazis we call it Nazi Germany.

We don't distinguish between people who silently disapproved or didn't like it but accepted it. We lump them in with the Nazis. And that is correct.

Search your camera roll for “Hell”

Tip: metaphor is simile, but simile is like metaphor

Tfw headless daddy holds you

I used to think "it's complicated" but it's not though. War sucks.

*wakes up with a mouth full of pearls*