Omg, I needed to remember that this happened so badly tonight. I needed that laugh.

So I owe taxes, can't pay my rent, can't even pay for the tax software, and I couldn't use the IRS filing because I had to file for two states. Things are going so great right now.

I may be tired and a little hoarse, but as I said again and again on the Senate floor, this is a moment where we cannot afford to be silent, when we must speak up.

I am going to make risotto, and while I'm doing that, Cory Booker is going to crush the record of a white supremacist and that is going to be glorious.

It’s well known that I was on The Apprentice. We were all covered by NDAs at the time, but mine has now expired. And do I ever have some tea to spill. I’ll post it later today after consulting once again with my attorneys.

I did not actually consider moving to New Jersey as a viable option but Cory Booker is absolutely selling me on it by being a source of pride.

If Sen. Cory Booker makes it to 7:19 p.m. EST, he will break segregationist Dixiecrat Strom Thurmond's record for his 24 hour 18 minute Senate floor speech against the Civil Rights Act of 1957.

Bless your heart for being helpful, Mark Cuban. And I promise I'm not being sarcastic when I say that.

My graphic novel pitch was rejected (not the genre they're looking for) but the story got killer feedback, so I'm taking that as a W. If anyone knows a comic/graphic novel publisher looking for political suspense, HIT ME UP.

a man wearing a black leather jacket is smiling in a netflix ad . ALT: a man wearing a black leather jacket is smiling in a netflix ad .

I'm not Irish, but I do like Rob Lowe! Happy Rob Lowe Birthday Day to all of those who celebrate!

How does this end?

Dude says we have to take care of our law enforcement

FUCK YOU!!! YOU ASSHOLE YOU PARDONED OUR ATTACKERS

Thank you, Michael Fanone, for your service but mostly for saying this and cracking my shit up before 10 am. (Also: If you're not following Jim Acosta, start now. He probably won't make you watch dictators. Just Fanone.)

Do not -- DO NOT -- watch The West Wing right now, it will only depress you. It doesn't matter that writing is great and everyone on it is eminently fuckable. You will watch it, and you will just feel sadness.

The joint session of Congress is going to be a repulsive man-baby slurring through lies and "WATCH WHAT I CAN DO" bullshit that he thinks will impress his stupidest followers and a dictator. Why would anyone watch this. Literally nothing he says is worth hearing.

a statue of a woman with horns is in the middle of a large room . ALT: a statue of a woman with horns is in the middle of a large room .

I know this is the official doom-and-gloom app (trust me, I am with you there), but, um, is anyone else watching PARADISE right now?????? I'm still catching up but WOWZA.

The Jim Acosta Show Politics Podcast · 24 Episodes · Updated Weekly

On the latest TJAS, Rep. Eugene Vindman slams Trump’s meeting with Zelensky as “shameful” and Ret. Gen. Mark Hertling notes the U.S. doesn’t even treat leaders of enemy nations this poorly. Listen to “The Jim Acosta Show” on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...

Dickless chode

A black and white still of actor Peter Boyle as The Monster trying to eat soup with actor Gene Hackman as The Blind Hermit in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974)

I was privileged to know Gene Hackman because he played tennis with another Gene—Gene Wilder. And that Gene told him about a little role called The Blind Hermit in our movie YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN…

True story: I was supposed to see this movie with my friends when we were 15 but my mom wouldn't let me because it was rated R, and she told me I would "go to jail" if I went with my friends and one of their moms. I told her that was not true, and 30 years later, she does not care.

I've had an idea floating around in my head about a hostage negotiator who becomes a hostage himself -- so I reached out to a retired FBI negotiator who was at Waco and he generously gave me an hour and a half to pick his brain. I have even more of a story now. I just want my gratitude out there.

This is Darla. She heard that eggs were becoming a big problem in this country. Was simply keeping her family safe from this one. 12/10

Hey, pals! I'm editing the new Law&Crime newsletter and would love for you to sign up if you are -- like I am -- a true crime fan! Sign up here, and please share! lawandcrime.com/email-newsle...

Jeff Bezos sucks and I am more than happy to ditch Amazon, but please let me know how to deal with my Kindle because I love my stupid Kindle.

This is actually what makes me love SINISTER more, it is truly, purely scary, and it takes so much to scare me. But I am always delightfully unsettled by that movie. One of my favorites ever.

What in the name of Robert Orci and Michelle Trachtenberg is GOING ON

I can't believe he makes AI bring his wet dreams to life so gross

I love and cherish all of them.

Good morning — white nationalists are still domestic terrorists, even if they’re running the country.