Fake Daily mail headline. We blame migrants so you don’t blame billionaires

Two hooded figures with lamps approach a moonlit, isolated cottage. A woman answers the door. We have come for the child, says the hooded figure So soon? she asks It is time, says the hooded figure. The woman is distraught. We should never have got him a library card! What is done cannot be undone, says the hooded figure We couldn’t see the harm! We just wanted him to enjoy reading! For most, it ends there, says the hooded figure, turning away and walking into the wilderness Oh lord, What have I done! says the woman, the child walks past her and out into the darkness with them. Do not cry mother. I am a writer now.

my latest books cartoon for @theguardian.com

When Angela Rayner underpaid £40,000 in stamp duty, Richard Tice said it was "morally completely indefensible” and she should resign if she had “any moral decency”.

Now we learn he set up four shell companies that let him avoid paying £100,000 he owed in tax and to then transfer the cash to Reform

I demand more representations of MY vision of masculinity—where you’re strong when you care for others and weak when you try to dominate. The one where you pass on to your children—whether they’re your own or adopted—love, knowledge, and the tools they need to succeed in life.
Less guilt, more love.

A VCR never sold my private info to a nazi

The French Revolution was not kind to The Aristocats…

What's your favourite bible quote? (Wrong answers only)

“You gotta learn AI or get left behind!” is a bit galling given that the entire purpose of AI seems to be to steal our work and fuck our brains and shit up the planet, which is to say, its GOAL is to leave us all behind. That, in order to make its owners rich.

It is genuinely surreal to watch both the U.S. and Britain decide to destroy their own world-renowned and extremely profitable university systems at the same time.

It is absolutely incredible that HMRC thought (and still thinks) that it is acceptable to tell every sole trader in the country that they have to file digitally, but that HMRC isn't providing any means to do, that you probably need to get some software from somewhere, and that it sucks to be you.

Here's hoping.

reader: wow this seems effortless.
writer: it took me ten years & 400 drafts to complete this story

Great news from the wonderful Pat Cadigan:
“In case you couldn’t hear me partying here in London, I beat terminal cancer. I kicked its ass down the stairs, took its lunch money, and threw rocks at it as it ran away crying. I don’t have cancer any more.”

THIS THREAD
omg
I cannot stop laughing.

Gladys Mae West obituary: mathematician who pioneered GPS technology She made key contributions to US cold-war science despite facing huge barriers as a Black woman.

No joke: I got angry hate mail today for writing an obituary of a Black woman scientist—because the person felt she did didn’t deserve the recognition.

Which just makes me want to share it again: www.nature.com/articles/d41...

As the Artemis II astronauts completed their lunar flyby yesterday, they saw a half dozen "impact flashes" from small space rocks crashing into the moon's surface. The news made scientists literally jump for joy. Follow our full coverage of the mission here: spklr.io/6001EyN07

I was delighted to be asked to answer a few questions by @civilianreader.com, who was also kind enough to review The King of the Spoil when it first came out. Learn all about my nerdy origins within...

Me, joking: I can’t believe we chose “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally”

Conservatives, dead serious: it was a tough choice, but I’m glad we picked “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally”

What happens to Britain's radical right if Orbán loses? Inside the money, power and patronage connecting Hungary and the British right

From Roger Scruton cafes to paying Matt Goodwin $10k a month, Viktor Orban has built a network of populist right think tanks, journalists and activists

Today Democracy for Sale delves into Orban’s allies on the British right

Well worth a read
democracyforsale.substack.com/p/orbans-brits

[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.] JANET: Ugh... LIZ: What's up? JANET: I am so bored of cooking peas! LIZ: Have you tried... AI peas? JANET: AI peas? LIZ: They're peas with AI! [Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI]. LIZ: Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas JANET: What LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines] Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas? [Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it] LIZ: Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine [Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas] LIZ: With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas! JANET: What LIZ: Shut up LIZ: Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow From opening the bag of peas to boiling the peas to eating the peas To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means. JANET: Is it really necessary to- LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]: THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET [Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan: AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas. [Ends]

Every ad now

I used to write the WaPo editorials on US-Africa policy, as well on as human rights and politics on the continent.

To describe hundreds of thousands of deaths on the continent as “messy” is an absolute abomination.

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

This is fucking awful

You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch

This quote from Apollo 14 astronaut Edgar Mitchell has been in my head the last few days

It's very odd to think that there are people heading off to fly around the Moon - the actual Moon - using the same software that I'm pinging emails and meeting requests from.

Also, you'd think they'd be allowed to set an out-of-office for the ten days they'll be outside Earth's atmosphere.

The Nightkeeper's Apprentice: Author Interview – DiscoverKelpies Jude Reid is an author, surgeon and mum to both humans and a border collie. The Nightkeeper’s Apprentice is her debut children’s novel, developed after winning the Kelpies Prize for […]

An interview! With me! Including a bit about the time @daisyabbott.bsky.social and I ran off to join the circus...

discoverkelpies.co.uk/2026/03/the-...

Never forget the vast majority of authors whose works were stolen, including myself, received nothing in the settlement. The settlement's not even a slap on the wrist for Anthropic.

A bunch of lawyers got rich, some authors received token money, and AI companies keep doing what they do. SMDH 3/

I keep seeing "all authors use AI, the real issue is they're being forced to be sneaky about it" headlines.

Full stop No. This is a lie peddled for normalization. It's schoolyard-level pressure tactics "C'mon, all the cool kids are already doing it. We won't tell. It's fine. We're on your side."

A history of the top marginal tax rates on the wealthiest Americans:

1940: 81%
1950: 84%
1960: 91%
1970: 72%
1980: 70%
1990: 28%
2000: 40%
2010: 35%

For 50 years, corporate backed politicians in Congress have slashed taxes to line the pockets of their wealthy donors.