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Puzzle #1045
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Puzzle #1044
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Two hooded figures with lamps approach a moonlit, isolated cottage. A woman answers the door. We have come for the child, says the hooded figure So soon? she asks It is time, says the hooded figure. The woman is distraught. We should never have got him a library card! What is done cannot be undone, says the hooded figure We couldn’t see the harm! We just wanted him to enjoy reading! For most, it ends there, says the hooded figure, turning away and walking into the wilderness Oh lord, What have I done! says the woman, the child walks past her and out into the darkness with them. Do not cry mother. I am a writer now.

my latest books cartoon for @theguardian.com

Who could have seen it coming?

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Puzzle #1043
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Hey seriously, literally in the bills it says they'll also use identifying information, such as your age data for "other purposes". That means your data goes into a government surveillance database. This would be for ANY *OS*, which is the thing your fucking PC runs off of.

Call your reps NOW.

Be sure to read the whole thing.

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Puzzle #1042
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I do not want to create an account or open a subscription I just want to buy a thing and never hear from you again why is this so hard.

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Puzzle #1041
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I like bluesky because it feels so much like tumblr

1. barely works
2. userbase is annoying (affectionate)(not that affectionate)
3. being queer on here feels like I’m actively participating in ruining some tech company’s investment

My fear is when it does I won’t know bc the traffic spikes crash my real time findy outy platforms and I miss out on valuable celebration time

Every time a platform goes down I optimistically hope it’s happened

The biggest gift I ever knew,
Was to love you knowing that you love me too,
And now the big sleep keeps you safe,
As she lets you close your eyes in her embrace.

—The weight of missing—

Again 😂 When I listen to this song,, it reminds me of them, what sad song I'm crying 😭

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Puzzle #1040
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Cannot read this normally, brain permanently damaged by tumblr 🔴

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Puzzle #1039
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Puzzle #1038
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I had the best salami and provolone sandwich on olive bread last night, so I made another one. Only I’m calling it sausage and cheese on toast bc it’s breakfast 👀

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Puzzle #1037
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Guess who just found a 5.6lb bag of Halloween candy we all forgot about in a closet 🎉

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Puzzle #1036
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Life hack for elder millennials: a milk frother is great for getting all the lumps out of your Metamucil 😂

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Puzzle #1035
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Had lunch at a new Italian place that has taken over the premises of an old Italian place, and I had what they call The Colosseum. It is a Caesar salad additionally topped with breaded chicken and fresh mozzarella. Absolutely brilliant work, good thing plus extra A+ things, no notes 👏

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Puzzle #1034
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Tried watching The Testaments, thinking oh it’s about teen girls and they’re playing The Cranberries, it looks YA maybe it will be less brutal and somewhat uplifting. Episode one and they’re cutting a guys hand off with a table saw 🤡

Fell back asleep and dreamed I was racing to wolf down pizza I found in a public bathroom stall before the authorities caught up to me and dragged me out. I never woke up wanting pizza so bad in my life. Even dream me knew it was gross but it was SO GOOD.

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Puzzle #1033
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The detective has lampshaded my brother theory in chapter 5 😂 if saying explicitly to the reader that it wouldn’t work in the 21st century is lampshading. He’s a tricky narrator though, I’m not 100% convinced it’s not a misdirection.