I'm scared that I require too much attention
(Before people start to spam me, not from everyone, sorry not sorry)

I'm in a weird middle ground were I feel okay but also feel like I'm gonna fucking loose it due to fucking constant overthinking.

I will always feel nothing but despite, anger and disgust for my ex gf

Since I have Easter holiday I've gained so much weight again, bleh I feel so fat and ugly and ugh, I hate it so much

Or rather feelings to be more exact.

I really have no idea how to cope with my emotions anymore.

I'm kind of on a point where I'm thinking about a lot of stuff in my life and what exactly want from it, things I gotta change etc.

Probably some of it just stupid ass brain worms fucking with me due to a depressive episode, do there are at least a few things I gotta change.

Funfact:
Since a few days I don't really have a hunger feeling anymore, I just get nauseous

I just realised that I've actually never really spoke about her so openly and how that affected me and how I feel about her

Idk if anyone cares, but those are all my boiled up feelings regarding my ex. (Who I broke up with nearly exactly 2 years ago)

(For context, had a long conversation with my bf and that topic came up somehow)

Our world is going to shit and what is humanity doing?
Laughing at it while being entertained.

I hope that when humanity is no more, the world can heal in peace again.

I always get so pissed when people say that Stalins regime was "communism", like, it fucking wasn't.
It was Stalinism, a dictatorship.

So pls for the love of Marx, stop jerking to that dictator you stupid ass fake commie tankies.

As long as there's capitalism, there will always be fascism.
As long as there's capitalism, the rich will always be untouchable.

Idk, I just feel weird and scared of doing so

I'm also scared that I make people I love feel bad because I feel bad

God I fucking hate being anxious af without having any reason to be, how tf does one turn off their fucking head?

Yes yes absolutely yea

Ah okay okay

Wym?

If they were there for work related purpose yea, but for what I know they were there in private

Okay wait
So police (only on Berlin I think) can now just enter people's home and install spy shit to hear what you say? And just do that when your either not there or asleep? Like straight up break in and sneak around??
Oh and german military just goes to Christmas markets ARMED???

🫂

Wish I could be in someone's arms rn.
Someone I fully trust and feel safe and loved around.
I have absolutely no energy left and only run on autopilot and have no idea how tf I didn't break down yet.
Everyday so many people talk with me, text with me etc and I just need a break.

Yk that we life in Germany and that here people in social works get payed like ass, right?

Sadly probably not because I don't have enough money for that, nor anywhere where I could life

I can't wait to move out someday and break contact with 90% of my family.

We're the self destructive youth of a world that has fucked us over and gaslights us that it's our own fault that they've messed up, while ignoring that is was them, their greed that is really burning us down

I don't get it, imo that's just another way to reassure us, that we life in different classes and that those with money can get comfortable just sitting on their asses.
Also YES PLEASE

There should be no first and second classes in trains.

Ich brauche hilfe, aber ich hab keine ahnung wie ich das irgendwie sagen soll/kann qwq
(Nie gelernt, yippee :D)