And just like that, the private prison in my old back yard is once again in the media spotlight.

Maybe this time it'll get shut down once and for all...

Great Job!

They hired Tim Heidecker, a pioneer of anti-humor: A phrase that literally means "not funny."

So InfoWars 2.0 won't be funny, then?

For the Cleveland Locals: Just in case you didn't know, The Foundry has moved from its previous Lakewood location to Pearl Road in Old Brooklyn, the former Mr. E's. Right next to Glass House! Big upgrade!

As of right now, this weekend marks my only Green Jelly dates for the year. Well, at least as far as I can tell for now...

4/23 - Battle Creek, MI - The Music Factory
4/24 - Cadillac, MI - The Venue w/ Esham
4/25 - Cleveland, OH - The Foundry

This is one of those cases where you call them up specifically to tell them why you hired their competition...

There are other forces at play this year, but when aren't there? Those forces are quite evil, and it's going to take a lot for me to deal with them, but hopefully it doesn't make a mark on what I hope will be a year of getting ahead of the game!

No major touring, just gear acquisition!

My last truly slow weekend of the first half of the year is upon me. Next weekend, I'm in Battle Creek and Cadillac, MI as well as right here in Cleveland at the Foundry with Green Jello. Beyond that, my busy season kicks off properly with Friday/Saturday (at least) from now until Halloween!

You should come on tour with Green Jello. You'll find all kinds of nifty ways to combat these kinds of problems when you're on the road.

Or, you can try my method: Pack plenty, book rooms at motels with 24 hour laundry facilities...

Unavailable for comment at this time...

I knew my timeline was a bit spicy, but I had no idea that it'd be forbidden... from ME...

Ye olde context screenshot. You know, it's amazing what people are willing to look past in order to feel any way but down...

Including Genocide. Guy is a big, big fan of sending money to Israel...

Zoomer gamers who use nonsense words telling me to grow up?

That's cute lol

Are you serious? THIS is why the "Doctor/Jesus" meme thing is happening? I wondered what stupidity brought this on, but holy shit...

A rare Monday to myself, so I tuned out. This is truly the stupidest timeline...

The generation that brought us Helicopter Parenting...

It makes me sad to be one, too. And you know what's fucked up? Back in the mid 90s? We actually thought we were getting somewhere. And then the stupid started getting louder...

For context, I present: Me.

Kirk Cameron is only 7 years older than I am. Yet, here, he looks old enough to be my father...

I guess the secret to looking young is to be a hard-partying Atheist rock star wannabe? Who knew...

Hamburglar all slackin' and shit...

I was right now years old when I heard any of this, how many hours after the fact? Granted, I'm mostly disconnected from local news, but stuff so gets back to me. Where in town was this?

Look: I'm all for getting the Vatican to reform itself a bit. It's been problematic for longer than we probably should have allowed it to be.

But Christian Nationalist reforms, under threat of Avignon II? Oh, hell no.

KISS is overrated.

No. Reagan was, too. They just did a better job of compensating for it.

My cube shelves are running out of space for all these epic plushies... So of course I'm going to get one all the same!

Dear YouTube: Think maybe we can get some kind of AI-content identifier for your TV app's browse pages?

Super sick of a thousand channels using AI voiceovers - that's an instant deal breaker. Tell me in advance which channels use AI slop so I can click elsewhere, thanks.

Sometimes, you just need to set the record straight. And sometimes, you're (unfortunately) handed a textbook example of exactly what record you're trying to set straight.

Legal counsel needs to recognize when the institution that has it on retainer is a deeply flawed, probably criminal entity...

A while back, some friends and myself were called "clout chasers."

I was today years old when I learned that the person who made this totally-not-projecting claim is a neckbeard.

Come on, Bug Boy. You KNOW you wish you had the Ishtar weekend I just had...

The Long 15 awaits...

Behold as they transform into Lady G before your very eyes...

"You're not making Christianity better, you're making Rock n' Roll worse!" -- Hank Hill