Yes, but Europe is only ten miles across. What's your commute, 200m? 😎

Dark.

...

Perfect.

"Victim? I hardly knew him." —Melania

"Water, it turns out, is wet."

This one is great on several levels.

Serious question: Is this more offensive to Muslims or Christians? On the one hand, the most blasphemous, least pious individual ever is mock-praising Allah, but on the other hand, it's literally Easter Sunday!

Also, Bridge Day sounds like a plausible Catholic holiday, a la Ash Wednesday.

In Soviet Union, files release you!

More like Termites fleeing that same ship, after gorging themselves on the hull itself.

Reminds me of a lecture I saw once with Richard Dawkins where he equated distance to time. The Industrial Revolution was 🤏🏽 *this far* in the past, but the Mesozoic Era was the distance from London to Moscow. That sort of thing.

Italy's rugby performance is rising, while their football team seems to be falling apart. Maybe it's just the dawn of a new day.

Why Students Are Obsessed With ‘Points Taken Off’ Students and professors are in a drawn-out battle over grade inflation. It may never end.

No Easy Fix for Easy A's

www.theatlantic.com/technology/2...

Absolutely lands. When I taught, students expected *100* simply for showing up and breathing Oxygen. Killed me to not-fail the clowns who cared only to tick boxes. The top tier earned their As easily, by giving a crap in the first place.

Nothing about demolishing parts of The White House or starting foreign wars. Interesting.

Hamnet sounds like a failed web series about what detectives eat on their lunch breaks.

I never knew this was a policy. Has there never been a place for true rookies in government roles? Obviously they won't be first chair and building a whole case without supervision ... right?!

Right, but do they get guidelines on what embodies a "Best Picture"? Or just a free-for-all based on what they feel like?

But seriously, what does it mean to be Best Picture? Are you saying everyone with eyes should see it? Is it the overall best-made film? The cleverest idea? The one that pushes the state of the art? Or just the one with the highest score of like/dislike according to the voting pool? #film #oscars

I was surprised Hamnet got so few trophies. I thought it was exceptional from top to bottom, and I usually don't like Chloe Zhou's movies.

Login Fatigue™ is the new midlife crisis.

Funny how I rarely check social media on weekends.

Studio: I want you to write the screenplay for the new Jurassic Park film.

Writer: Cool. What's it about?

S: The dinosaurs break free.

W: But that happens in every movie. What's it _about_?

S: I guess it's about humans repeating their same dumb mistakes.

W: Indeed.

Next time you see someone committing punctuation atrocities, try using "This has more dashes than drunk Emily Dickinson sending Morse code."

Can't wait till AI is able to clean cat vomit off my carpet.

The Ticketmaster-MLB.com-iOS ecosystem is a Möbius Strip of pain. Absolutely not an improvement over paper tickets or simple print-and-scan eTickets. What a total clusterfuck — requiring folks to have a smartphone with NFC just to see a Spring Training game?!

Black don't crack.
Asian don't raisin.
Latin don't flatten.

... What else we got?

*Trumpsuit

Orange, saggy and formless, marks one as a criminal.

They should leave the smoking hole in the ground as a monument to Trump's presidency. Nothing else gets his name. (Ok, maybe orange prison jumpsuits can be called "Trumpsuits" since they are bright orange and mark a person as a criminal.)

A skeet shooter and a biathelete ski into a bar ... the skeet shooter orders two shots, the biathelete says "is this your Après-skeet?"

Being called an "armchair furniture designer" isn't an insult in a world where interior design is a spectator sport.

cc @myqkaplan.bsky.social

I still love Em — wait for it — dashes.

I know all the stuff about Bill Gates is true because why on Earth would anyone make that up?!!? What is there to gain from this being a fabrication?

Between this, MS Teams, and that churros commercial, this dude has a great moral debt to repay.