basically i just don't want to be hospitalized again and this is the next best option. lesser of two evils

but they're both very evil

life is falling apart, feel like I'm unravelling... considering intensive outpatient therapy again

but it's group therapy and i get incredibly anxious in groups. i wish there were intensive individual therapy options, but that. Doesn't exist.

i'll probably delete this later

Thankfully they didn't charge me for the part they broke and fixed, but. I'm. Losing. My. Goddamned. Mind.

I can't take much more of this.

Guess who had to replace their tire in the middle of moving today! This guy! I swear I'm cursed with the worst luck as well, because the mechanics also broke a sensor in my car as they were replacing the tire, so what should have been a quick fix took two and a half hours.

Happy birthdayyyyy

On better news, we submitted our notice to vacate for this apartment and we're getting the keys to our new apartment tomorrow. We've been so busy with cleaning everything, we're not even ready to move yet. I'm ready for this nightmare to be over.

I'm just so. Tired. Of opening another thing and looking behind another piece of furniture and finding more mold. Always more mold. It was in my portfolio. I'm tired of crying.

I really feel so much shame and guilt with doing this, but here's my kofi if anyone has anything to spare.
ko-fi.com/petitjackalope

It has been very emotionally taxing going through all of our belongings and finding mold on almost everything. Some things we can save, some things we can't. We've had to throw away some things that are irreplaceable, like family heirlooms and some of my own art. Devastating everywhere we look.

Meme of a background character in 1984 Dune with a goofy, far off stare holding something crookedly in his mouth. The text reads "no thoughts, just spice".

Watching 1984 Dune, I am enamored with the background characters. This guy stole the scene for me.
#dune

We're going to try to break the lease and move as soon as we can. Any donations will help with moving costs, cleaning, replacing items we couldn't save, and doctor and vet appointments. I really feel bad about asking for help because we're all struggling, but this is my reality currently. Thank you.

Support Skip Support Skip

Here we go again. The mold is back with a vengeance. The floors, walls, all of our furniture, some of our clothes and shoes. Our apartment isn't safe to live in anymore and it's affecting our health and Cricket's health.

These are beautiful! I haven't done linoleum prints in such a long time. I'd love to see these printed.

Finally have a day to work on my mandalorian armor and I am too tired to actually do it. Uggghhh ughhhhhhh uuuuhggghhhh.

Obviously come home with your own beyblade and challenge him to a duel.

I think you're fine! People plan months in advance for conventions so I think it's absolutely reasonable to announce that you're prepping for a con. Also it's exciting! It's a good thing!

My go to for using up lots veg is just cutting them up into bite sized pieces and roasting them all. Cutting takes time and energy and it's a little difficult with my tremors sometimes, but roasting is a really easy way to just get through vegetables really quick. Or I throw them into soup or stew.

Brought to you by: my eyes swelled shut and flu-like symptoms for two and a half days after wearing makeup AND I had like two drops of bbq with peppers in it*, which made me incredibly itchy and hot and my mouth was tingly but not in a good way for 12 hours Sunday night.

*the bbq wasn't even spicy

okay okay I'm doing it I'm going to get a stupid allergy test finally

Also sadly the last time I will be able to wear makeup around my eyes. I had an intense allergic reaction at the end of the day. I'll have to modify this costume so I don't have any makeup on my eyes. It's such a bummer. My allergies have gotten so much worse, only masked characters from now on.

Selfie of a person with intense makeup to look like a sith from Star Wars. They have red stripes on their face and horns. They have a black hood on and a green bow tie for St. Patrick's Day.

Parade yesterday. Very fun.

A cool looking plant with round leaves.

A cool looking plant with long leaves and some stems curling around each other.

Also check out these cool plants. I don't know what they are, but they sure are pretty.

A single deer looking at the photographer.

The young deer in front is grazing and the older deer in back is looking at the photographer.

Life may be wackadoodle but at least I saw some deer today

Surprised at every single thought he has

These art residencies are like a dream for me. If ultimately I don't get one this year, I can just keep applying until hopefully I'm accepted. I'm just working hard for my goal, so I'm trying to tell myself it's okay to take a break. I'm not slacking.

In the meantime, I've already been accepted to a couple other art shows, so that just helps buff my resume. And my full time job as a ceramics instructor helps my chances at being considered too. All in all, I have some good chances I think. I just need a break to work on something else for a bit.

My goal is to get at least 5 pieces that I'm 100% happy with by June, because that's when the submission dates for the artist residencies I'm working towards open. So far I have two pieces. Not quit where I want to be yet, but I'd rather not push myself and resent the work I produce.

I've hit a wall with portfolio progress. My motivation to work on paintings isn't there, even though I'm still excited about the process. I think I might take a little break from it, because I just got my mandalorian armor. I can work a little on that and return to my portfolio in a couple weeks.

Much luck!!!!!!

This should be read as if he has his head underwater because that is how i imagined the voice